"Will enough ever really be enough?"

Editor's note: "What's the Big idea?" is an online exclusive column that will run every Wednesday. Julianne discusses life issues in the SLO lane.

“Will enough ever really be enough?”

It is the age-old dilemma, the never-ending stream of questions: “What am I doing”; “Where am I going”; and “Who am I?”

High school sheltered us from finding answers and college is almost too overwhelming to find solid ground, let alone answers. We could look to pop-culture as the media gives us material possessions and teen idols to help us find what we’re looking for, or we could look to literature as 19^th century poets struggle to teach us of integrity and overcoming the worst. Our faiths can certainly keep us grounded into humility, while science can silence us to see the big picture.

But what are we really looking for? And more importantly, where am I going with this? Down the road that is so very often traveled and unfortunately not always paved with yellow bricks.

There is a whole new year laid out before us. And after a three-month ‘Poly sabbatical,’ I for one am struggling with reuniting and yet reinventing. Goals of balancing my many lives while frantically searching to find that “niche,” to slowly become the person my parents are paying thousands of dollars for me to be, and all the while promising that this year will be devoted to a world outside of my bubble.

But didn’t we promise to all of this last year? Didn’t we stumble onto campus with the same infamous yellow signs screaming “Study 25-35 hours/week,” Don’t become the next red handprint, Go from Geek to Greek, and watch with envy as at least half the school runs for leisure in 95 degree weather as you wheeze yourself up the hill. You can’t help but wonder: Will this be the year? Will enough ever actually be enough to get me to cram in these supposed 35 hours of study time, or get girls to stop drinking and stumbling into the wrong hands; even to get school officials to stop stalling for more time as they comment on our lack of diversity, rather than do something about it. For enough to settle in so that Mardi Gras won’t be another laughing stock, the Greeks will realize us Romans are fine with the friends we have, or heaven forbid, Hollywood will realize we are officially over Brad Pitt since he obviously can’t commit.

I guess the funniest part, for lack of a better word, is that not only will all of this never be enough to put an end to the madness, but more will pile on; weighing down our loads and sinking us deeper into questions.

Adulthood doesn’t mean the end of wondering, it’s just the end of believing it’ll all one day make sense.

Enough will be enough when it’s good and ready, much like our questioning will cease when we realize the point to life is just that: to live it.

In spite of losing face when you wake up on someone else’s couch, lose or don’t lose the measly five pounds you’re obsessing over, join 100 of your closest sisters or just make two great new friends; maybe even break up with the person who’s had your heart for much too long. Or even, now here comes the clincher, realize that if we aren’t going to find the answers in textbooks or tabloids, at the end of bottles or in brotherhoods, there is always your walk to class.

Those ten precious minutes of iPod therapy which is just enough time to rock out to, and just enough to bid you time while you figure it all out.