Spring quarter is a fascinating reversal of the dandy bravado with which we assault the returning of classes in the winter or fall. One hears less of the exciting pursuits of higher knowledge. The hallways instead seem to echo with party-hoarse voices invoking their separate muses, sober affirmations to survive another quarter and hasten escapes to the sunny weather outside.
The process of spring recalibration into college mode is always fiendishly complicated by lingering stupidity, a phenomenon that — as a subset of attention-deficit disorder — renders the task of retaining any one intelligent-sounding thought virtually impossible for at least a week and a half. I too am a victim; everything in the news is written in Chinese and not even the creamy voice of Anderson Cooper reveals an appetizing route of journalistic inquiry.
The week’s top stories are as such:
• The largest ever gathering of American atheists, agnostics and secular humanists braved inclement weather to hear Richard Dawkins speak in the Washington Mall.
• The Supreme Court began hearing arguments on the constitutionality of key parts of health care reform.
• The Romney campaign called its candidate an Etch-A-Sketch.
I wonder if I can unify these disparate stories behind one cogent ethos, perhaps explaining why, despite this nasty case of the “Spring Stupids,” each fuss feels to me like one side of an endlessly spinning coin.
Large organizations of atheists always worry me. I am immensely sympathetic to their cause and have in the past defended their status as the single most discriminated-against minority group in the history of both America and Western civilization. I agree with Dawkins, being an atheist in America closes doorways to virtually all positions of elected office — unless you choose to lie about it and remain closeted; if you are one of the many non-theists of scientific persuasion, American democracy presents you the dilemma of choosing intelligence or honesty.
I worry that a nationalized movement in the spotlight, such as last weekend’s march on Washington, will only cement in the misinformed minds of the American majority that atheists are in some fashion an organization or something that resembles a religion at all. This misconception is a deeply cynical one. It exposes the status quo for an instrument of paranoia and suspicion, seeking to master at any cost the political consequences of assemblies of any substantial number of voting citizens.
The same misinformed status quo can also be found picketing the Supreme Court building, as the justices begin a lengthy debate over a key clause of Obama’s health care reform. In its current formulation, all citizens must have health insurance or else pay a penalty; the question to be decided is if this penalty is just that, a “penalty” which can be legally precluded or else a “tax” that cannot be legally stopped before it is officially levied. Unfortunately, the status quo cannot quite decide which meaning it supports, and picketers from opposing ideologies seem thoroughly confused over what they themselves support.
Finally, there is the promise from Romney campaign manager Eric Fehrnstrom that the candidate’s transformation from primary to general election mode will resemble the erasing of an Etch-A-Sketch. What elevates this gaffe to one of everlasting, Kerry-like proportions is not merely that it has supplied the most fitting metaphor yet for the substantively empty Romney, but also that its symbol is so very simply and broadly understood.
The gaffe cycle truly dominates the 2012 election. Yet, as entertaining as they always are, what does their persistent hilarity say about us? Are we really going to choose the next president based on Etch-A-Sketches and friends who own NASCAR teams?
Each of these top news stories seems to paint a bleak picture of how our mass psychology functions in election season. Each seems to presume some innate well of outrage that we may all tap with little effort — if only we knew which direction to channel the effrontery. These stories are hardly news at all, but rather tales of public confusion pinned casually to the top of the political billboard. One wonders if we should instead long for the days of complete political indifference, if this is the best our election-frenzied interest can muster.