Caitlyn Harkins is an English sophomore, Mustang Daily copy editor and sex columnist.
If you’re a girl, or even remotely interested in girls, you should have a healthy understanding of your tiniest friend: the clitoris.
The clitoris is a sex organ only found in female mammals and its function is to make ladies orgasm. And that’s it.
The clit is a little bundle of 8,000 nerve endings, making it a critical hot spot in any sexual rendezvous. Clitoral stimulation provides strong sexual pleasure — oftentimes, it’s the only way women can achieve orgasm.
However, nature’s Rubik’s Cube can be a frustrating puzzle. Without being the owner of a clit or having previous experience with one, finding the damn thing is hard enough, let alone being able to manipulate it to orgasm.
So, a rough guide to finding the little come machine: the tip of the clitoris is at the top of the labia majora, partially concealed by a hood of skin. While it may seem tiny, the clitoral tissue actually internally archs along both sides of the vulva. This means that when the clit is stimulated, the clit becomes engorged (it becomes erect, similarly to penile stimulation) and the woman’s entire vagina contracts with excitement.
I can’t recommend strongly enough how important it is for people to have a thorough knowledge of their own bodies. If that means busting out the hand mirror and sitting spread eagle on your bed just to find your clit, so be it. Once located, you can experiment with masturbating to figure out what feels best for you.
When masturbating, starting with manual stimulation is the simplest way to go. Make sure you’re in a comfortable position and turned on (check out last week’s article on porn if you need inspiration) with some lube handy.
First, find your clit. Second, using one or two fingers, alternate between circular rubbing motions and tapping either directly onto the clit, or on the base of your clit if you are more sensitive. Another good method is rolling your clit between thumb and forefinger. Take your time, and don’t worry if it takes a while to get yourself off. Learning what is the best way to make you come is an invaluable piece of information that can and should be shared with future partners.
Another way to pet the kitten is with a vibrator. It is increasingly common to see finger-vibrators sold in pharmacies alongside condoms and lubricants. The Internet also provides a wide variety of multi-shaped, multi-speed vibrators fit for any budget. If you’re worried about becoming desensitized (the female equivalent of a guy always using death grip while jerking it), just make sure to only use your vibrator occasionally, and keep the buzz to a lower setting.
Now comes the fun part: you’ve found and messed around with your clit, got off and your partner has read this article and has a basic idea of where it is. The next logical step is coaching your partner on how to finger your clit. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner if they need to increase or decrease the tempo, should switch to a clockwise motion or if you need more lube. Talking through it a few times teaches your partner what’s going to have you writhing in pleasure. Eventually, your partner will be able to slip their hand down your pants, no directions required. And who doesn’t want that?
Since it’s so important to reach orgasm, clit stimulation should be incorporated as much as the lady wants. The clit shouldn’t be relegated to a foreplay-only item. While some women prefer getting off before sex, others like a dick inside and a finger firmly on the clit throughout the session.
If you know your woman gets off with a vibrator in her downtime, try using one while you’re going at it. She can hold onto the vibe and guide it while you are hitting it from behind or in missionary position. Talk it out, couples, and definitely experiment.
Last (but certainly not least), the clit is the Holy Grail during oral. My favorite sex article is the Vice Guide to Eating Pussy, and while I wish I could republish the entire column here, I’ll leave it to you to look it up. If you like getting eaten out or if you’re a fan of taking a dive, it is a must read.
This advice won’t seem helpful, but it’s true: women vary more than condom styles. Some things may get your current partner off like a firecracker but will leave your next woman unimpressed. Ladies, for the love of God, tell your partner what makes you wet so that you can get a mind-blowing orgasm and your partner gets the satisfaction of a job well done.
And after, make sure to return the favor. Happy exploring!