Karlee Prazak is a journalism junior and the Mustang Daily sex columnist.
As finals are approaching, we Mustangs are in need of better ways to spend our precious quick study breaks and relieve stress. So I suggest that instead of letting the stress get the best of you, take advantage of a feel-good, proven stress reliever — what the French sometimes refer to as “la petite mort,” or the little death — the orgasm.
Don’t think you can spare the time it takes to reach that critical moment? Not only have orgasms been found to reduce stress, but a male can orgasm in as little as two minutes, and females in four, according to a research study by the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex.
Take a coitus-based study break and in a matter of minutes you will have been in, out and taken a load off. Problem solved.
Research has found that sex-induced orgasms reduce stress via brain pathways by inhibiting anxiety responses in the brain, according to a recent article by Samantha Smithstein for Psychology Today.
The article was based on a study held at the University of Cincinnati which concluded that sex as a stress reducer had an effect similar to people overeating when stressed. Basically, small amounts of pleasure — of which quality is more important than quantity — are proven to reduce stress for up to a week, according to the article.
So get excited about this one die-hard study buddies, because finals are about to be totally worth studying for.
“Study breaks” of these sorts can be achieved in two distinct ways: self-induced or partner-induced.
The latter will leave you willing to engage in a few more hours; whereas the former will leave you on top — of the world that is — and feeling like you could study for several more hours straight.
Going along with the research study, partner-induced is a much more effective and recommended route to take because (like with everything in life) sometimes you have to give some to get some.
It takes the average female four minutes to orgasm from self-pleasuring, while it takes her 10 to 20 minutes to orgasm from pleasure induced by another, according to the Kinsey study.
Fortunately — or unfortunately depending on how you look at it — it takes the average male just two minutes to reach orgasm after penetration, according to the Kinsey study.
Therefore, if you are willing to give up more time than you feel you have and partake on some private tutoring (pun intended), think about the possibilities post-O. Just make sure both participants leave satisfied, so plan for about a 15 minute break just to be safe.
There are a few different ways to fit a “study break” into your dead week regimen.
First of all, turn to the person next to you, pull off a layer of clothing and say, “I need some afternoon (or whatever time of day it may be) delight.”
Alright, I was kidding about that — but if you do choose to do so, and it works, well more power to you. Can’t hate the player. … The rest of us can beat around the bush with a more traditional approach laced with sweet talk to coerce a potential study-buddy to help us out.
Whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend or late-night friend, pull out a cell phone, log onto Facebook or run to their house. Most likely when you lay an offer out on their desk that isn’t a textbook, they will be so happy that the liftoff time it takes to reach the O-zone will be dramatically decreased.
An added bonus for those of you who are adventerous would be to take the recently heightened focus on school to the next level and don your sexiest business-attire. Perhaps you can teach a crash course in human anatomy. Or if you are really good, take a real course and make it fit — once you go biomedical you never go back.
Now, if you lack that “special someone” to whom you can send a sext to that you feel will be openly received, going about study breaks like this could be a little tricky. So when faced with a dry-spell of these sorts: “be a (wo)man use your hand.”
Seriously, don’t be shy — but don’t announce it to the world either. There is no shame in self-help when your final grades are at stake.
When all other study break ideas have been exhausted and stress is sticking to you like pubes on wax, exhaust yourself instead and put your best O-face on. You deserve it and, most importantly, your grades may depend on it.
So as finals creep closer and you find yourself drowning in stress, remember to pause for a cause and release some of that pent-up tension — this may be the one time in your life when booty calls are appropriate.