Ryan ChartrandI was with a group of guy friends the other night and, while they were enjoying cigars and whiskey, I felt the need to contribute some sort of masculine sentiment. So I began to tell a story a friend of mine had told me at the gym earlier that day.
I’ll call my friend Tom for the sake of his privacy and future love life. Tom was at the grocery store one day when he struck up a conversation and exchanged numbers with two separate girls, one blonde, the other a brunette. When Super Bowl Sunday came around a few days later, Tom invited Blondie to join his celebrations. He then texted the brunette and made plans to hang out with her after the Super Bowl.
Now here’s the twist: it turns out that, when the blonde girl showed up at the party, she brought with her the very same brunette Tom was texting. The two happened to be roommates.
Now, one would think that this situation would wind up being incredibly awkward for Tom and that he would perhaps deserve a storm out or a slap in the face by one or both of the girls, but Tom and his remarkable game snuck out of this trap. He laughed it off and enjoyed the first half of the game in peace with his new grocery store friends.
It was during the second half of the game that things got interesting. That was when the trio relocated to a hot tub. The girls hopped in with only their bras and panties and Tom jumped in nude since he never wears underwear. When Blondie starts kissing Tom’s neck, he sneaks a glance at the brunette who is taking off her bra. Mere seconds before the situation turned out to be a porno flick Tom says, “I’d love to ladies, but I have a girlfriend.”
As soon as I revealed my story’s anticlimactic end, my male audience immediately roared with disappointment. One guy even claimed that I gave him “verbal blue balls.” This reaction caught me off guard, as my initial reaction was that Tom is really a stand up guy.
However, deeper thinking made me question why a guy with a girlfriend was getting digits and skinny-dipping with girls in the first place. Although I initially let those ideas slide, thinking to myself that Tom is truly is a good guy for turning down this stereotypical male fantasy, the story and its reaction eventually made me question “the line.” Still, my all-male audience grunted with dissatisfaction. The listener with a girlfriend seemed the most disappointed of them all. It appeared that all of the cigar crew would have taken this threesome opportunity if it presented itself.
Where cheating begins seems to be incredibly misunderstood. Is it emotional or physical that is unforgivable, or is it both? Was Tom cheating simply by being with the girls? I can’t decide if it would be more hurtful for the girlfriend to hear that he spent hours talking to these girls and getting to know them, or seeing them in their underwear.
Cheating is a fickle thing because unless you talk about it with your significant other, you don’t know what the lines are. Is your boyfriend OK with you dancing with random people at a party? Is your girlfriend OK with you texting your ex? I sure as hell know you’re not supposed to make out with a former fling over winter break. The question really is what is the line of cheating for your partner?
According to a study on sexual infidelity versus deep emotional or love infidelity, men were more sensitive to sexual infidelity, while women were more distressed by deep emotional or love infidelity. Now, this isn’t to say there aren’t exceptions, nor is this information an excuse to partake in either type of cheating, but it is evidence of the different sensitivities that people have. Obviously, the line of cheating is never clear.
Denise Nilan is a journalism senior and the Mustang Daily’s new sex columnist.