Everyone has a best, that one sexual experience that, for some reason, you can’t shake the memory of. Maybe it was a spontaneous time on Dexter Lawn, or the night you were with your ex for one last tryst. But what makes one sexual rendezvous better than all the others? What makes sex amazing, phenomenal and unforgettable?
I can’t give you a how-to guide or a simple formula to make great sex happen, although that would be nice and extremely convenient. But I can point out some ingredients that can help you brew that perfect moment.
From my totally unscientific poll, I have found that the partner with whom the sex takes place seems to be more important than any other element. Comfort is a huge factor. Two types of people seem to be the best candidates: serious and steady partners and randoms.
That sketchy person you met at a party has one obvious advantage in your bedroom (or dorm room): no constraints, no restriction and no judgment. Who cares if someone, who you might never see again, thinks you’re a freak in the sheets? It’s this attitude that can lead to uninhibited and unforgettable sex.
It was this very attitude that released the inner freak of my close friend. One night she discovered an adorable frat boy dressed like Shaggy from Scooby Doo — ‘shag’ being the operative word. This random hook-up was how she discovered her hidden passion for reverse cowgirl. She has never been the same since.
Longtime significant others have an equal advantage. They know you and they read your moans like a Dr. Seuss book. This gives them the benefit of making you a pleased participant. This closeness also usually coincides with intense feelings, maybe even love, which, for some, can make sex more rewarding. These emotions even have the ability to make sex seem better than it really is. Be forewarned, they don’t come without attachments. They can mess with your decision-making skills worse than booze.
My other friend fell victim to these steroid-juiced emotions. She met an aerospace engineer that had a rocket NASA would be jealous of. Needless to say, she has never forgotten the ‘out of this world’ experience. It was the best sex she has ever had. But what was confusing was that despite the unforgettable experience, she couldn’t stop thinking about her former fling. The emotional advantage placed her ex in the No. 1 seat even though his blastoff (and equipment) was sub par to her rocket scientist’s.
What Skyler was slammed with was the complex emotion vs. physical conundrum. Technically she has had her best sex ever twice: the best physical sex and the best emotional sex, which are really the only two types you can have. But what is sex with love if it doesn’t feel good? And what is sex that feels good without emotions? It’s like a margarita without tequila: Something can only be so good when it’s incomplete, it can’t be perfect. When you can find a person who satisfies you physically and emotionally, when you find someone who you love and who rocks in bed, I think that is what you call the best sex you’ve ever had.
Denise Nilan is a journalism senior and the Mustang Daily’s sex and relationship columnist.