Hillary Kaiser
hillarykaiser.md@gmail.com
Two people who know each other from class go to a party together and start drinking. They begin making out and things quickly progress. What is the guy thinking about? What is going on in the girl’s head? What about the situation was consensual and what was not? What could each individual have said to assure that things didn’t go further than intended?
This is just one of many scenarios students will analyze at “The Sex You Want,” a workshop slated to address sexual assault and other issues surrounding sex today. This is the first event hosted by Cal Poly Safer with Panhellenic and the Interfraternity Council (IFC) in observance of Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
Through this collaborative effort, Gender Equity Center and Safer coordinator Christina Kaviani said she wants people to know that Safer and greek life are connected, work well together and that one of Safer’s roles is to show people what good sex and relationships look like.
Kaviani said it is important for young people to talk about sex and know their boundaries and how to assert them.
“People need to learn how to have healthy, good sex, because we don’t have good sex education in a lot of schools K-12,” Kaviani said. “Then coming to a university and being bombarded with sexual feelings and people to have sex with, but not necessarily knowing the right way to go about it.”
Sexual assault is an especially pertinent topic for college-aged adults. According to Safer’s website, one in four college women and one in 10 college men experience a sexual assault by the time they graduate.
To address this issue, the two-hour event will include discussions and activities about consent and its gray areas, as well as gender issues and how to read verbal and nonverbal cues that people give in situations of sexual intimacy, Coordinator of Fraternity and Sorority Life Diego Silva said.
“Reading these cues allows for a better experience, for people to be respected on both ends and ultimately prevent sexual assault,” Silva said.
There is great value in students from all over campus working together and creating a different type of learning regarding sexual assault and violence perception, Silva said.
“I think that perceptions and misperceptions of gender roles and the gray area of consent is always a hot topic with any sexual assault and violence presentation,” Silva said. “It will require us to push buttons and challenge world views, and I look forward to this at the workshop.”
In doing so, the presentation will focus on positive sexual encounters, Panhellenic Vice President of Public Relations and business administration sophomore Danielle Durante said.
“When it comes to sex, the most controversial issue is what qualifies as consensual,” Durante said. “Especially in the presence of alcohol, comes a gray area.”
Because both guys and girls can suffer the consequences that come from having sex, Durante said she hopes people will take this event to heart. She hopes members take the event seriously, make an effort to become more sexually safe and have discussions that aren’t always easy to have.
“Not having this event is shying away from something that we are faced with in college,” Durante said.
Leading the charge will be Panhellenic Special Events Chair and biological sciences junior Laina Ruzic and IFC Director of Community Service and kinesiology senior Spencer Takata.
Ruzic and Takata will facilitate the larger group discussion and then break the conversation out into smaller group talks.
Rather than a lecture environment, eight students will fill 16 circular tables with one representative from one of the hosting groups at each table, Kaviani said.
“This is an open discussion we can have all together, rather than have a presentation forced on us,” Takata said. “We will facilitate and encourage discussion to keep going on a valuable and deeper level.”
Many fraternity and sorority members will attend as part of their involvement in Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
Safer offers the opportunity for organizations to get a SAFE certificate if the group has at least 10 percent of its members at three or more events. The certificate means that particular organization is well-informed on the issue of sexual assault and can serve as a proponent to help prevent sexual assaults.
“We would like to do it (become SAFE certified) to educate our members and make them feel safe,” Ruzic said.
In terms of the event, Ruzic hopes attendees will walk away knowing sexual assault can be prevented.
“I want people to know that there are a multitude of opinions going around and recognize that the other person can be thinking about the situation in a different way,” Ruzic said.
Though two greek organizations are co-hosting the event with Safer, the event is open to all students.
“Many people think that greeks are more likely to be involved in these situations,” Takata said. “Sexual assaults do happen on campus, but they are not limited to greeks. In spreading awareness that these things do happen, we can help to prevent these situations.”
“The Sex You Want” event will kick off at 5 p.m. Tuesday in the Christopher Cohan Performing Arts Center.