Whoever said two is a pair, three is a crowd and four is a group was obviously not well versed in this neck of the bedroom. It is true that two makes a pair and four makes a group (or orgy), but three, well three makes a threesome.
What is the deal with threesomes? I might be gender-biased, but it appears as though every guy wants one while most girls cringe at the thought.
But I say that if the cast of “Gossip Girl” can do it, then why can’t you?
The following is merely informational content and should only be attempted if you feel qualified to take on such a crowded task.
If so, take all possible outcomes into consideration beforehand because relationships and friendships can falter under the weight of three people.
A sexual triad can easily leave one party hanging out to dry. On the other hand, a severe case of TMI (too much information, duh) can be another side effect. So choose partners wisely, because once you hit the sack there is no looking back.
Before going more in depth, let’s get some input from an intellectual perspective.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a threesome as a “group of three people or things” — followed by an example involving golf. But who really depends on the “real” dictionary anymore for terms like this?
UrbanDictionary.com defines a threesome as: “Three people having sex together. One person may be in the middle, or everyone can have sex with everyone else.” It is followed by a better example than Merriam-Websnore too.
Urbandictionary.com said “some level of kinkiness is inevitable,” but there are several recognized formation examples: all female, all male, two males with one female or two females with one male.
Other possible names for the pants party include, but are not limited to: three-way, double team, ménage à trois, devil’s threesome and group sex.
People who engage in threesomes on a consistent basis are known as “swingers” and “swinger couples.” This means they are comfortable enough with their relationship to invite a third party in to spice things up regularly.
When threesomes come up, I never cease to be amazed at the names for the positions. They always relate to man-made landmarks, animals or physical activities.
Names of some of the well-known ways to have fun with three include: skiing (a person uses their hands to stimulate two others simultaneously), the triangle position (one woman sits on a man’s face and the other sits on his penis facing each other — can be either open or closed) and the wobbly-H or Eiffel Tower (where a person receives anal sex from one end and gives a blow job at the other).
If these terms still escape you, I suggest either utilizing your imagination — because they aren’t too hard to figure out — or referring to everyone’s smartest friend these days, Google.
It would be irresponsible to talk about threesomes without laying out some guidelines recommended by a more qualified source. Chris Ford, a sexual education correspondent for AskMen.com, recommends proper threesome etiquette in his article “Threesome Rules.”
Ford’s No.1 rule: “Establish the rules.” This guarantees that everyone is comfortable and aware of limitations. Agreeing on a safety-word to use just in case the comfort zone gets violated is advisable at this time.
Ford’s No. 2 rule: “Be as giving as you can.” He suggests putting personal desires aside and channeling your inner utilitarianism, or focus on what is best for the greater good.
Ford’s last rule: “Be safe.” Ford recommends going into the situation fully equipped with plenty of contraception. This avoids any fluid exchange capable of causing repercussions in the proceeding nine months.
But as Ford mentions in his article, threesomes usually occur by chance and are a “right place at the right time” kind of happening. Be spontaneous and open to the fun; don’t approach a significant other and their best friend, expect clothes to magically drop and to see bodies take on contorted positions. If this is the plan of attack, take some advice from P*nk because “it (will be) just you and your hand tonight.”