Lauren Rabaino“Pineapple Express,” written by Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg, is the latest film to emerge from the Judd Apatow fun factory and, dare I say, it wasn’t that much fun.
Meet Dale Denton (Rogen) and prepare to be un-amazed. As with every role Rogen plays, he doesn’t stray too far from his preexisting, laid-back, charming loser profile. Denton doesn’t have a whole lot going for him, squandering away his days as a process server, getting high in his car between bouts of ruining peoples’ days.
Denton finds himself in a bit of a “wrong place, wrong time” situation when he accidentally witnesses drug lord Ted Jones (Gary Cole) and crooked cop Carol (Rosie Perez) murder one of the “Asians” that had been stirring up a war with Jones. Startled by the brutal killing, Denton makes a run for it after hastily dropping his roach on the ground.
Having been spotted, Denton is all nerves, and becomes even more paranoid when his drug dealer, Saul Silver (James Franco), informs him that the weed he sold him is exclusive and would most certainly be traced back to them.
The “Pineapple Express” is a rare kind of weed that, according to sloppy stoner Silver, is like “God’s vagina,” and sets the tone of stupidity for the entire movie. Even when taking into consideration that the majority of the characters are super high throughout the movie, it still isn’t that funny.
It’s like you just want to rip the joint from their hands, smash it on the floor and inform the characters of a few common sense moves they should make in order to allow any semi-sober person to get in on the jokes – and of course, the laughs.
The pair set out on an endless and incomprehensible journey that features enough crotch assaults to win some sort of crotch assault award. After the 59th blow to the nether regions, it began to grow stale.
The violence escalated from fists to guns, and provided an amazingly unrealistic attempt at an action movie. The characters were more than human and able to withstand multiple gun wounds to the torso area, and still be fine? Okay.
But, after all, without Denton and Silver’s ridiculous conquests, there would be no movie and the world would miss out on Franco’s surprisingly wonderful representation of the drug dealer with a heart of gold.
He is like a cute little half-witted puppy. No matter what he did, it was okay because he wasn’t capable of much more than being cute.
Viewing the trailer, it might be easy to get sucked in to the hype due to the more-than-catchy tune by M.I.A playing in the background, but don’t be fooled. I waited the entire movie for the song to break in and save us all. It never happened.
This movie falls under the new genre appropriately dubbed “bromance,” and rightfully so. If this movie accomplishes anything, it would have to be the undeniably endearing relationship that forms between main characters Denton and Silver.
The two characters’ chemistry onscreen was apparent. It was easy to imagine that the entire movie was a work of improvisation. Whether this is a good thing or not is still up in the air.
There were some laugh-out-loud moments, nearly all originating from the lazy stoner mouth of Silver, accompanied by Denton’s half-hearted retaliations, but it just wasn’t enough to keep the “Pineapple Express” from derailing.
The plot was as unappetizing as it was completely unrealistic and difficult to follow. There was a mad mix of things going on: a confusing drug war, beatings, pot smoking, shootings, pot smoking, a series of various horrible events, pot smoking and more pot smoking.
Hey guys, maybe the reason that your lives are crumbling before your eyes is because every five minutes you light up a doobie and handle important situations while blown out of your mind. Just an observation.
Basically, the entire movie asks the question, “Will the buddies get caught, and perhaps killed by Jones?” To get to the answer you have to ride the “Pineapple Express” train of mediocrity – and I wouldn’t recommend it.