Ryan ChartrandThere is a kind of girl that aspires to become a princess. This girl longs for the day when she will have sovereign power over the people around her and acts as though her genealogy takes root in a royal family. She is prim, precise and finicky.
You may be more familiar with the title we have given to our particular breed of princess: “Poly Dolly.”
To make it easier for one to recognize such a high-maintenance female, I have included a few signs:
1. An outfit including Uggs and a short skirt (anything above the knee would qualify)
2. Use of the word ‘Besty’ or acronym ‘BFF’
3. An excess of pink (of course it only takes one article from the Victoria Secret Pink collection to be an excess)
4. The application of make-up before breakfast
5. The application of make-up immediately preceding “working-out”
6. The application of make-up while at the beach (I hope it’s at least water proof)
7. A night of only hard alcohol with an assumption that it has fewer calories
8. OVERSIZED SUNGLASSES
9. An excessive amount of rhinestones
10. The necessity of multiple purses despite their immense size (bonus points if one of those oversized bags has a bottle of Aquafina or Dasani in it)
11. A sip from her own personal bottle of the aforementioned brands while at Downtown Brew
12. SLO Taxi on speed dial (because walking and biking are just not options)
Of course, a girl possessing only one or two of these signs may not have done enough to earn the princess title, but if you notice three or more indicators, then you should feel honored to be in the presence of her royal highness.
Marci Palla is a public policy graduate student and the Mustang Daily’s new humor columnist. “Marci’s Word of the Week” appears on Fridays and will explore some of the more important venacular of college life, one word at a time.