Here we go … the new Tuesday column, entitled “The Naked Truth,” is based on two girls claiming to know everything about “the elusive friend zone,” which apparently doesn’t exist (weird how you can write a whole article about something that doesn’t exist, eh?).
What I gained as the main point from the article is this quote: “if you feel any sort of sexual attraction toward the opposite sex (or same sex), there can never truly be a platonic friendship.” It then goes on to say that inter-sex friendships “never seem to pan out the way we want them to.” Who is “we” exactly? Women? Jessica and Elizabeth?
From the tone of the article I’m pretty sure that’s what they are implying, that “us men” always have to go and fuck things up. We always just let our johnsons get in the way of a perfectly good friendship. BULLSHIT. Look, men can be around women without being attracted to them. Not only are we completely shallow (so if you’re ugly, case closed), we also like the idea of having friends who are girls. They give us advice, tell us what to say and wear, and even (gasp!) be our friends.
So next time you find yourself having to be so kind as to cut it off with one of your guy friends who is obviously head-over-heels for you, do us all a favor and take your head out of your ass. And by the way, next time you want to say “fuck,” just say it.