Ryan ChartrandLately I have been impressed with the Mustang Daily, especially with bringing Mike Heimowitz and his “Guide to Life” back,(1) but the Daily has truly made a blunder for the ages.
Not too long ago, I could take out one page of the Mustang Daily, fold it into quarters and have the crossword on one side and the Sudoku on the other, providing multiple minutes of fun. I could warm up my brain every Monday with a very easy Sudoku, then just flip the page over and do a crossword. It was perfect; as soon as the crosswords got too hard on Wednesday, (2) I could just go to the Sudoku and its perfect level of difficulty. Now they are on two separate pages. For what? A dot game and pop culture commentary in comic form? Totally not worth it. How am I supposed to make a futile attempt at hiding the fact that I am not paying attention in class? This creates a huge dilemma for me(3): I can’t flip through the pages of the Daily in class because it’s far too noticeable.
What am I supposed to do in class now? Pay attention? Take notes? No, none of those will work. I’ve had to resort to texting. Non-stop texting. Texting my friends about nothing.(4) Texting sweet nothings to my girlfriend. Even texting my parents.(5) I don’t even want to see my phone bill this month. Shit, it’s going to be ridiculous. Move the Sudoku or you owe me $57.90.(6)
1. I love you, Mike. You’re my hero and I strive to be like you in every way.
2. You know that is the day they get impossible. Don’t even pretend to be able to get like half a Wednesday crossword done.
3. Crossword = too hard. Sudoku = too short
4. Often when they are sitting right next to me.
5. My mom has no idea what she is doing. It’s pretty entertaining.
6. The average price of my phone bill. I’m guessing it will double.7
7. Perhaps I should get unlimited texting.
Brian Werter is a psychology sophomore and a guest columnist for the Mustang Daily.