When it comes to sex, practice may not make perfect, but it definitely helps. The more sex you have, the more opportunities you have to correct mistakes and learn new techniques. But everyone has to have a first time, and to lessen the surprise, people tend to try to learn a bit on their own.
You could turn to any number of books and Web sites that methodically explain how the body works and give helpful tips. However, there tend to be two drawbacks when it comes to these sources.
First, they tend to be written for people who have already had sex and are looking for ways to spice it up. As such, they tend to gloss over ‘simple things’ that some people might not know about. Also, as informative as their writing and pictures are, they can’t really match the information that can be gained in a video. Videos are really thousands of pictures, which equals millions of words. That’s just logic.
For this reason, knowledge about sex comes from pornography, consciously or otherwise. While porn is good at portraying information, it’s sometimes hard to remember that it is, in fact, not real. Therefore, porn can teach you things that just aren’t true.
You are way too small
Whether we’re talking penis or breasts, the averages in porn are much larger than in real life. Even if you know this is true, your brain will be comparing your body to those of the actors every time. And it should also be obvious to you that penis or breast size is not very important and not the only possible reason someone could find you attractive.
You are also way too hairy
Unless you are on a Web site specifically devoted to hairiness (hairy men, usually), it seems to be a rule that any hair not shaved off is bleached within an inch of its life. Most of us just don’t have that kind of time, and a lot of us just don’t really mind hair that much.
It’s all about the man (in straight porn)
This may be confusing, because chances are you don’t see him very much. Since almost all porn is made for men, the man being filmed tends to fade into the background so the viewer can imagine himself in that situation. If there was actually a focus on men, do you think Ron Jeremy would have ever gotten work? I had always assumed he’d be at least a tiny bit attractive.
Anyway, considering the mediocre attractiveness of the men, it is kind of surprising that the women seem to be willing to do anything to please them. Whatever he wants to do, she is absolutely obsessed with doing. In porn, that’s because it’s her job. In real life, it usually isn’t.
All women are bisexual, but not too bisexual
In porn, women exist for the pleasure of men. Straight men are (apparently) turned on by the sight of two women together. However, they still want to be involved. So obviously lesbian women don’t exist, and even bisexual women absolutely need to have a man. In real life, most women who are interested in other women don’t act that way just to turn men on, believe it or not.
This porn phenomenon of the bisexual has probably led to thousands of men sleeping on the couch for asking for a man-woman-woman threesome. Such a thing is possible, of course, but definitely not if you assume that it’s a sure thing.
Timing is bullshit
In porn, everyone wants sex at the same time. This is not only because they came to the set specifically to have sex, but also because people get irritated if the first hour of their porn video is just sexual tension. However, in real life, sexual tension is not only pretty damn fun, but necessary to assure that both people will actually be in the mood. This is why pizza delivery people tend not to be seduced in the approximately 30 seconds they are in your house.
Finally, in porn, love does not exist. The actors don’t love each other and usually don’t bother trying to act that they do. Sometimes there is no kissing at all. I assume there are couples who don’t kiss, especially if it’s just a casual encounter. But really, if you believed everything you see, you would be surprised that people kiss at all.