How to Survive: Getting a Date

So there’s this person you like. You really, really like them. You want to go out with them. But you can’t just go up and ask them out. Or can you?

The answer is yes, yes you can.

You can’t just ask someone to a dance like you did in high school, which can make it a little bit more nerve-racking for some. First of all, you have to get over those butterflies that are riding a rollercoaster in your stomach. More likely than not, the one you’re crushing on has no idea that you even like them. (Hopefully, they know you exist.)

If so, then you’re going to have to make the first move. Men: most likely she’ll be quite flattered that you’re asking her out. Women: remember it’s not totally heinous to make the first move. As they say at Nike: just do it.

Now on to the details of asking. Just ask them out. Don’t make it a big deal because it’s not. Ask them out to coffee or something similar so it’s not a long, stressful evening with dinner and a movie. If all goes well you can do that later. You can’t be afraid to ask your crush out. That will get you nowhere. Who knows, they might just say yes.

Here’s a success story to encourage all you shy ones out there. I asked a friend of mine out after getting myself all nervous and discouraged about it. He said yes and we had a great date. My mother thought I was crazy, but she’s from another era. If I, a closeted shy person without a clue about guys, can do it, I know you can too.

If your crush said yes, then keep the conversation on the upcoming date. What do they want to do? When’s a good time for them? Keep them interested and get them excited, don’t leave them hanging. Use the conversation to get to know something more about them. Maybe you can use the knowledge you’ve gained to impress them. Opposites may attract, but having similar interests is never a bad thing in a developing relationship.

If they said no, it might be time to realize that they were just a crush, not the end all be all in your future love life. Don’t let it discourage you and continue asking other people out. One day, more likely than not, you’ll get a yes.

In the end, you’re not going to get anywhere if you just sit back and let nothing happen. This isn’t a novel or a movie where prince or princess charming is going to suddenly take interest in you and take charge. Unless another person comes along and sweeps you away, you’re still going to be the wallflower at the ball. You’ve got to fight for your right to go out with who you want.