Now, this might seem completely irrelevant, but I do have a point: I have had a crush on a boy who works at In N’ Out for months, and while my parents were visiting, my dad cock-blocked me.
Here’s some exposition: some time ago, I went to In N’ Out with my roommate and felt some kind of connection with the nervous cashier. I believe he messed up my order or something of that nature, and I found it cute. So, my roommate and I went to In N’ Out pretty much weekly so that I could try to talk to him. Most trips he was not working, or if he was, my awkward and inept flirting inabilities left me with nothing to say.
On the Fourth of July, we enjoyed the sun at Avila Beach and then, of course, decided to go to In N’ Out. At first, we thought he was not working, but as we walked out, he appeared at the register. So, I went back and ordered a shake even though we’d already finished our meal. It was silly, but he asked what we were doing, and if we were going to the fireworks. He and I shared a moment. Unfortunately, I never saw him again after, that and honestly thought he might not work there anymore.
With my heart wounded from the loss of the hot In N’ Out Guy (I wish that was not what my roommate and I call him, but it really is), my parents came to visit the weekend before last. I had told them I would buy them lunch, and since they were staying at a hotel right down the street from In N’ Out, I figured, “Hey, why not take them there?”
Outfitted in my Mustang Daily T-shirt and looking pretty frumptastic, we trudged to In N’ Out. And who happens to be there? Oh, hot In N’ Out Guy, seeming much friendlier to customers than he had before. I freaked out, avoiding his line and completely not knowing what to do. I could not flirt with him with my parents there, but I also could not let the chance get away no matter how frumpy I looked.
So, I made a plan: I would collect our order by myself and try to work my moves (or lack thereof). When our number was called, I stood, ready for wooing.
“I’ll help you get it,” my dad said.
“No, I can get it,” I replied, moving quickly to the counter.
Hot In N’ Out Guy did not deliver my order; however, he moved from his cashier post to deliver the order after mine. As I opened my mouth to assert myself, there lumbered my dad. Inwardly, I cringed because my dad is completely socially inept and had been embarrassing me all weekend. He, of course, then said something awkward to the In N’ Out workers and, ultimately, cock-blocked me. Now, I’m too embarrassed to go back.
This awkward tale of failed flirting shows readers what not to do and also segues to our first dilemma.
Dilemma No. 1: “I am an avid car enthusiast, and I recently had my car worked on. When I went to pick it up, I met the owner of the shop and felt an instant connection with him. At one point in our conversation, I wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. I could only think about kissing him! So, I told him frankly that I thought he was really handsome. Honestly, I never, ever am so forward with a man, but I just could not help but say it. He seemed flattered and didn’t say anything to discourage me, but I don’t know what to do now. He sent some hints, such as telling me I should visit some time either at the shop or a restaurant he also owns, but I don’t want to seem, if not already, too forward. What should I do?”
I have heard from Cosmo, and other chick magazines, that men actually appreciate when a girl is forward in this way.However, not being a man, I don’t actually know.
Still, if a man can tell a girl he doesn’t really know she is beautiful, a woman should be able to do the same. If it were me, I would totally go to that restaurant looking as gorgeous as I possibly could.
If you felt a connection with him, I say you might as well go for it. The worst that could happen is that he finds you creepy, which, you know, remains unfortunate. But you don’t have to go back to that restaurant or shop again if that happens. Might as well give it a shot anyway.
Dilemma No. 2: “I recently got out of a serious relationship (we were together for two years), and now I’m having dating problems. Guys who were just friends while I was with my ex are now romantically interested. The problem is, they’re not being forward about it. One guy asked me to go out with a group of people, and told me only a few hours before that it would actually just be the two of us. The next week, another guy did the same thing! How come guys feel like they need to trick me into going on a date with them? And how can I gently let them down without looking like a bitch?”
I have never had this happen to me before. Usually when I am asked out on a date, it is understood it will just be the two of us. I have gone on too many dates, but have seriously dated so little of them for my own good. So, I suppose, you should be cautious when boys ask you to go on a long walk on the beach with their buddies or dinner and a movie with their pals. Perhaps even ask to make sure there are going to be other people there. At least if they are planning to trick you, you might be able to tell they are lying by the answer.
If you do happen to be tricked again and need to let them down gently, you can try one of my methods: act completely crazy so they don’t want to date you. I have tried this a few times, though each attempt was unsuccessful. Still, I like to think some day it might work. You could also simply express your frustration that they tricked you into a date and tell them you have no romantic feelings.
Dilemma No. 3: “My darling boyfriend is about to land the greatest job ever. We both live in San Luis Obispo and his parents are in San Diego. We all desperately want to show him how much we appreciate his hard work and how proud we all are of him, regardless of whether he gets the job or not. He will find out the big news (which I’m 98 percent sure is a ‘Yes’) next Friday, and his parents are coming to visit that weekend. I want to throw him a surprise congratulations party while his parents are here, but I wouldn’t want to upset him if that 2 percent prevails. Should I plan the party anyway, and it could be a ‘Congrats party’ if he gets the job or a ‘We-still-love-you-anyway-party’ if he doesn’t? Or should I wait until we find out?”
I think you should set the foundation for the party, but not put it into full motion until you know for sure that he got the job. Just have all of your friends wait until you find out the news. But I would set up everything so the party could happen at the drop of the hat.
Still, you and his parents could take him out to dinner even if he doesn’t get the job. My family and friends have taken me out after a disappointment, and it always makes me feel better. I am sure he will appreciate that you cared enough to plan a party, even if he doesn’t get the job.
There they are–answers. And you even got a ridiculously embarrassing personal story from me. So, send in your letters, and I might share another awkward misadventure next week along with some decent (or not. Whatever.) advice. I have plenty of both, believe me.