Well the first week of school is over and my college life is back to business as usual. I’m procrastinating in all my classes, binge drinking on the weekends, flirting (unsuccessfully) with girls and doing a good job at making an all-around ass of myself. But this year feels different to me. I am a fifth year now and I feel old. I know it’s not actually that old, but I find myself thinking differently.
Most of my thoughts now consist mostly of me griping at something: I can’t get the classes I need even as a super senior, I hate my neighbor’s dog, I hate my landlord, my fantasy football team is getting destroyed every week, and the porn on my computer I downloaded freshman year in the dorms is losing its luster. I just look forward to each weekend with the prospects of liquid salvation.
But my most serious gripe is that I have to graduate soon. I will have to try and get a job in our “booming” economy. Today you can buy something that costs $2,000 American dollars for approximately 8 Euros. Good thing an election is coming up!
When I watch TV, all I see is the portrayal of the new American president as the potential savior of the American people. I’m pretty sure our new president is not going to be a one-man “cure all” for America’s problems. I would even go as far to say that our ASI president probably has more direct impact on our lives (as students) than the real president, and I’m convinced that our ASI president values trees more than she values people.
Getting back on track – we only have two choices for a new president which consists of: a black dude who wants to implement socialism and an old white dude paired with a MILF who want to implement fascism. I can’t help but wonder how the American public let itself become the whore at the political gangbang.
I’m so far gone I can only see the apathy or a serious blind political following in people everywhere I look and I can’t tell which is worse. I’m sitting in class writing this stupid thing and the only thought that cheers me up is how awesome it would be if an angry grizzly bear armed with a light saber stormed into the classroom.
I pray that some extreme thinking people get back on campus. I don’t care who it is. I want to see more raunchy anti-abortion displays come back, columns like “Why I Hate White People” frequent the paper, and those two nut job evangelical protesters come back. Whether you agree with these people or not, at least they cared passionately about something and tried to stir the pot. But hey, I’m an optimist, so let’s go, Cal Poly, we can do it! Now bend over, grab your ankles and enjoy the rest of the year.
Michael Macedo is a manufacturing engineering senior and Mustang Daily guest columnist.