Ryan ChartrandIf you are a man, you are not a woman. If you are on the high road, you are not on the low road. If you are planning on long and romantic, it won’t be short and dirty. If you want sex all the time, you probably aren’t craving sex less often. I hate to break it to you, but it’s rather difficult to be two things at one time, which is why compromise is so important.
Sources say that men think about sex every seven seconds. or five seconds. or 30 seconds. or two hours. Pretty much no one can agree on how often sex comes up (get it? I made a pun) in a man’s mind, or a woman’s mind for that matter. So entirely unofficially, because all the sources differ, I’m just putting it out there that from what my sources tell me, men think about sex all the time. Not only that, they want sex all the time.
And who could blame them right? Sex is great! But, statistically speaking, we females are leaving our male counterparts high and dry. An article in “Psychology Today,” entitled “Five Shocking Stats about Men and Sex,” reports that, in fact, women do appear to want sex less often than men. They found that women who are in relationships tend to have lower libidos while the libido of their male partner remains constant. Some of this is biological, in the sense that sexually a male can be more easily aroused, while a woman often takes longer to become fully aroused.
I’m not saying that you should go around humping everything that moves whenever you feel like it, and I’m definitely not supporting lowered libidos, but I am saying that with two entirely different people, a little compromising is important. A couple consisting of a man who always wants sex and a woman who doesn’t probably won’t last as long as a couple with a woman who enjoys sex more often and a man who can occasionally handle holding himself back.
Figure out what another person wants from you and decide (beforehand preferably) if you would be willing to give in, or if you are going to put your foot down and leave your panties on. If she wants to stay in with you one night, stay in. If he wants to see an action movie for once in your dating life, then go. Without complaint. Relationships take sacrifice to keep both partners happy, but make sure the sacrifice is equal on both sides. Don’t use sex as a bargaining tool to get what you want, because not only would that make you seem like a tool, it would also slowly drain the fun out of those spontaneous, passionate moments.
It saddens me to say that this will be the last time that we will be meeting like this before the holidays, with me all exposed where you can do what you please with me. But I thank you for putting up with all of my lame jokes, sexual innuendoes and calls to step out of your conservative box in order to embrace your sexuality. I hope that you are able to gain something from my words, whether it be tips, fun advice, or the idea that sex can be fun. It can be something that you can talk about with your friends, open up to (literally or figuratively), and not be scared of.
My gift to you all is some fun facts to leave you with as conversation starters with your family and friends to prove you have learned something at college this quarter:
– For every “normal” Web page, there are five porn pages
– Ithyphallophobia is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis
– There are men in Guam whose job it is to travel the countryside and deflower the young virgins who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
– The average person will spend two weeks of his or her life kissing
– In Hong Kong, it is legal for a woman to kill her husband after he’s had an affair, but only if she uses just her bare hands
– Dolphins and Bonobo monkeys are the only other species to have sex for pleasure
Have a very happy holiday and I wish you the best of luck on your finals. If you ever need a study break, remember that sex boosts your adrenaline, so take some time to study anatomy (even if your test is in psychology). Stay safe and here’s to an extremely sexually liberated 2009!
Melissa Norman is a psychology senior and Mustang Daily sex columnist. You can contact her at cpbetweenthesheets@gmail.com.