Ryan ChartrandWith finals around the corner, it means that Christmas vacation is on the horizon (fine, “holiday vacation” for the P.C.). If you’re not working during this break then you’ll be sure to find yourself reuniting with that comfortable indentation on the living room couch, hanging out with your favorite holiday buddy: the television.
It is unavoidable when there is just an excessive amount of good programming out there-football, basketball and of course, staple holiday flicks.
However, though the sporting events are bound to be worthwhile and exciting, there is nothing fresh or invigorating about the same old network holiday movie reruns.
Therefore, instead of wasting away in front of the television watching reruns of “24 hours of A Christmas Story” or “Miracle on 34th Street” like they were an unavoidable family tradition, spice up your holiday home theater experience with a new spin on the Christmas movie genre-some action-packed Christmas chaos.
Here is a list of some out-of-the-ordinary Christmas films that are sure to make your holiday television sessions anything but mundane.
Die Hard
Putting aside this film’s holiday undertones, “Die Hard” is good enough to be in the Top 10 of all-time greatest action movies.
When New York detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) flies out to Los Angeles to rekindle ties with his separated wife and children during the holidays, his plans are thwarted when a European terrorist group headed by the evil mastermind Hans Gruber takes his wife and her coworkers hostage at the Nakatomi Plaza Tower in downtown L.A. It is an action-loaded epic about one righteous man versus numerous evildoers.
However, do not be fooled by the face of this movie’s hard-lining action. Underneath, it is a heart-warming holiday tale about a man trying to save the meek and rescue his spouse, thus saving Christmas in an American cowboy fashion.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us Mister Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay Motherf**ker!
Lethal Weapon
Not quite a Top 10 contender, but nonetheless one hell of a bullet-riddled action extravaganza, “Lethal Weapon” is another one of the not-so-obvious choices for movies that exude principle holiday themes, yet they are clearly present in this film.
When old school hardliner Sergeant Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) teams up with psychotic maverick Sergeant Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson), violence comes quick and heavy when the duo pursues a gang of deadly drug-smugglers.
Though the abundance of death and destruction says nothing of the holiday spirit, the film holds true to central Christmas themes.
The two colleagues are at first loathsome of each other, yet they create a strong bond in which Murtaugh invites Riggs to spend the holidays with him and share in the warmth of his loving family. Sharing, caring, and giving-the reason for the season-these are prevalent themes in this film often overshadowed by the prevalence of violence.
Sergeant Murtaugh: Maybe we’ll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.
Gremlins
A tale of a seemingly perfect gift that spawns a nightmare, “Gremlins” is the epic mastery of pupeteering ever displayed in film. Add that to a punchy and comedic storyline and you have yourself a self-aware parody of horror films finely blended together with a Christmas twist.
When a small-town inventor buys a mystical, obscure yet cute little creature, a “mogwi,” from a kooky Chinatown cellar boutique, and presents the creature, affectionately named Gizmo, to his son as a Christmas present, all hell breaks loose when the fuzzy little mogwi spawns an arsenal of grotesque evil terrors-gremlins.
These devious little hellions then run rampant through the small, snowy town leaving a trail of chaos and destruction, otherwise ruining the holidays for everyone in their path.
Lesson learned: it is not always wise to give the dangerous and obscure gifts with the mere intentions of stoking your kids-your kid’s Red Rider Rifle might just shoot an eye out, and the mogwi just might unleash an army of gremlins with Mohawks.
Stripe the Gremlin: Gizmo.Caca!
Jingle All the Way
Arnold Schwarzenegger can never steer too far away from his action roots, even when he attempts to make a Christmas comedy such as “Jingle All the Way.”
In this flick, Arnie, playing the workaholic father Howard Langston, tries his damndest to secure the coveted hot buy that has kids going into a frenzy like it were the Nintendo Wii-the Turboman doll. What makes matters worse is that he has waited until Christmas Eve to find the doll-big mistake.
Though this film is packed full of cheap laughs and the ever-present Arnold action, it’s overall emphasis is on the bonds of family versus material wants-that and trying to sleazily charm Arnold’s wife while stealing his cookies makes for a reckless decision.
Howard Langston: Cookies? Who told you you could eat my cookies? Put that cookie down. NOW!
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
A bit more of an obvious choice than the previous films, but nevertheless one of the greatest hits for the season. If you had to watch any of the films within the “Vacation” series, make “Christmas Vacation” your top priority.
In a tale of holiday family dysfunction in its utmost chaotic form, the hard-headed Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) tries his best to unite both his wife’s and his own side of the family together under one roof, all the while dreaming of the bounty to come from an awaiting Christmas bonus.
However, festivities go sour when his bum brother-in-law arrives (permanently) to add to the brewing chaos, and the holiday bonus that was supposed to be a payday turns out to be nothing more than a membership to a jam and jelly club.
In the end, this dysfunctional family flick ends in triumph when Griswold successfully unites the family and secures the Christmas bonus through reckless yet effective means-but not before sharing some ill words about his Scrooge of a boss.
Griswold: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where’s the Tylenol?