Lauren RabainoSo your club, organization or department needs a slick slogan for T-shirts, posters or to paint on a car. Why not use a sexual innuendo or a drug reference? Because every other club, organization or department is already doing it.
In the second week of school, I saw a car with green and yellow paint on its windows. It said, “Poly Reps do it in a green polo!” Thanks, now every time I see a tour group leader I think, “That person wears that shirt during sex. Nasty.” Are we still amused by the fact that “do it” means sex? I thought that was really funny when I figured it out in sixth grade and my parents had to step up their code language, but nowadays it’s more of a “oh, that’s kind of witty.” Really though, what if everyone had a “do it” shirt? “Swedish dancers do it in clogs.” “Mascots do it in animal costumes.” “Old men do it in suspenders.” This has to stop before it goes too far. Then again, this newspaper has a shirt that says “Do it daily.” Perhaps it’s too late.
A better slogan is on the shirt mechanical engineers wear that says, “Do M.E.” Yes it is a sexual innuendo, but it’s also a game you could play in your head, if you’re into men. Just think to yourself, “Yeaaaaah, I’ll show you how to make things move mechanically” if you would do them, or “Yeaaaaah, bust out your graphing calculator; let’s do some mechanical engineering right here in line at The Avenue” if you would rather not do them. That’s some good wholesome fun for your personal enjoyment.
My favorite, and one of the most baffling shirts I’ve seen, was one for sale in Campus Market that read, “I Grow Grass.” It was more than just your average shirt though; it had a built-in optical illusion. Trippy, huh? The illusion worked like this; certain people read it as saying “I Grow Grass” and were aware of the drug connotations, but believed it was a shirt about agriculture. Others read it as saying “I Sell Drugs” and were cops. But really, what is going on here? Last time I checked, Cal Poly was drug-free, but it’s OK to sell shirts with drug innuendos on them? C’mon, either we’re drug-free or we wear “I Grow Grass” T-shirts and celebrate 4:20 every day on Dexter Lawn. That’s my ultimatum, Cal Poly, and you have until April 20 to respond.
It’s time for these organizations to lead us somewhere new. Stop following this trend; it’s no longer surprising. At this point, it’d be shocking to see a T-shirt with a well thought-out design. Let’s get creative, people; we’re in a learning institution; we’re supposed to be doing great new things for the advancement of the human species, not coming up with T-shirts like “Computer scientists do it with keyboards” (which doesn’t exist, but I doubt I’m the first to come up with the idea).
In closing, someone make me a T-shirt that says “The TRENDASAURUS does it in newspapers.”
Brian McMullen is a journalism senior and Mustang Daily columnist.