That I love Disney is a severe understatement.
Do you know how long Beast was cursed before Belle happened upon his castle? If you can recall that one very specific line from the movie that reveals this information, then you probably empathize with my very somber regard toward the present status of my favorite film company. And we should probably be friends.
Kids born in the late ’80s, plus or minus a few years, were truly blessed. We lived in the days of “Rocko’s Modern Life”; the days when wearing high-top converse didn’t mean you knew how to slam dance — it meant you were five; the days of yo-yos, scrunchies, marbles, jellies and mean games of tetherball. But most importantly, they were the days of Ariel, Robin Hood, Mufasa, Baloo, Maleficent and that feisty little raccoon named Meeko. It was the Golden Age of Disney.
And I fear it has been lost forever.
Ever since “Toy Story,” those guys down in Burbank have been getting funny ideas about computer animation, namely using it to replace animation. Of course I understand that hand animation takes ages to complete and that technology pervades everything, making it easier to produce films and all that logistical business. But that curious lamp who bounces his way across the screen before new movies symbolizes the only thing about Disney I have come to almost resent: Pixar.
Yes, “Finding Nemo” was hilarious and I obviously quoted it for several months. Yes, “Monsters Inc.” was clever and cute, etc. And, “Wall-E” is undoubtedly the single most adorable movie in the entirety of human existence. I’m not saying Pixar hasn’t pumped out some great, enjoyable movies. They most certainly have and sales alone are proof of this. But when children now are more familiar with the lines of “The Incredibles” than “Peter Pan,” it crushes my soul a little. One kid I met a few years ago, around age 5, admitted she had never seen “Robin Hood.” It was one of the most tragic moments of my life. That’s probably an exaggeration, but it was very eye-opening. Since when did Pixar overtake classic Disney?
With Pixar came the end of the Golden Age, the end of traditional animation and the end to a long series of timeless masterpieces. Not to mention the beginning of an out of control, obsessive line of about a thousand awful sequels to the old Disney movies. Movies that already have an explicit, concrete ending. “The Little Mermaid 2”? “101 Dalmatians 2”? “Lion King 1 1/2”? “Cinderella 2” and 3? Of all the animated films that were the most clear in its perfectly happy ending, Cinderella has no business having a sequel, much less second sequel. Not only were the classics retired, they were ruined a little by pathetic continuations.
I’m embarrassed for Disney, and I hope Uncle Walt never finds out after they unfreeze him.