Valentine’s Day celebrates the magic of love with chocolates, flowers and many fogged up dorm windows. However, if students question what activities are truly safe, Gender Equity Center and Safer coordinator Christina Kaviani said there’s a lot of talk about sex in the Gender Equity Center office.
The program provides information, educational events and leadership programs related to gender equity and identity. Kaviani said many students come to the Safer office with questions and concerns dealing with gender equity and the topic of sex.
“We don’t want to seem like we’re anti-sex,” Kaviani said. “We are all for having fun and having great, awesome sex, but we’re not for anyone being forced to do anything they don’t want to.”
Event coordinator for Men and Masculinity Programs and psychology senior Antonio Archuleta, points to the possible myth that women cannot get pregnant while on their period. Archuleta said because some women have a longer, irregular period, combined with the fact that sperm can live for a few days after ejaculation — myths can pose a serious problem for a couple.
“Most couples wouldn’t want to have sex while their partner is on their period anyways,” Archuleta said. “But just in case, always use protection.”
Archuleta also points to the danger of sexually transmitted diseases and infections (STDs/STIs). According to the American Social Health Association (ASHA), 65 million people in the United States currently live with an STD, with 19 million new cases each year. Of those new cases, 25 percent are among people ages 13 to 19, according to ASHA.
In his experience with the Men and Masculinity Programs and as a student, Archuleta said he believes pregnancy is the number one concern of college students. Shows such as “Teen Mom” and “16 and Pregnant” have conditioned students to worry about pregnancy over STDs or STIs, he said.
“The consequences of pregnancy are also easier to imagine,” he said. “With STDs, students might not have any idea what happens to you or what his or her future will be like there on out.”
The Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), which can lead to genital warts and cervical cancer, is the most common STI among students, Archuleta said. Fifty to 70 percent of sexually active men and women will acquire HPV at some point in their lives, according to PULSE statistics. The Health Center does offer HPV vaccinations, Archuleta said.
“A lot of diseases stay with you for life,” Kaviani said. “You can take medication to make them go away, but they do come back.”
She also said there are a lot of diseases people, especially men, can’t get tested for.
Caitlin Fuller, psychology junior and student assistant for Safer, was surprised to find out that many students and people she works and talks with do not wear condoms while having sexual intercourse. She also said many people do not realize they can contract an STD/STI while giving oral sex.
“Another common act I see is that many college-aged women are uncomfortable communicating with their partner about STDs/STIs and what they want in sex,” she said.
Kyle Rosso, assistant coordinator and AmeriCorps fellow with Safer, agreed communication and making sure each person is comfortable is key to having a good time.
“Not communicating and the other person doing something they are not comfortable with just to make the other happy is not OK,” he said.
Rosso said the programs also explain the difference between sex and sexual assault, because sometimes people use the terms interchangeably, he said.
“Seeing sexual relationships and promoting them is a big part of our lives because we always see the bad,” he said.
According to Kaviani, being intimate doesn’t mean you have to have intercourse. It depends what your definition of sex is, whether it is oral or just penetration, she said.
“There are other options to being sexual without intercourse,” she said. “It is important to do what feels right for you.”
For staying safe this holiday, and for the rest of your life, Kaviani recommends contraceptives, condoms and communication. It’s saying what you want and listening to what your partner(s) want, she said.
“It’s also how you are going to have the best sex you’re going to have,” Kaviani said. “Good partners are going to make you feel like you can talk, even if you’re shy.”