I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I should just thank The Daily for the

In order to disprove this retarded claim, I will directly address several actual fortunes:

Oh please. We humans rule the planet. If you were to pick one species to be “Captain of

Hey everyone! At the beginning of the school year, we asked you all to send us what you

Wow. What a stupid thing to argue about. Our country is based on the idea of everyone

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t think driving a hybrid will make you appear

Alright fine, Sean. We’ll debate the one thing nobody wants to debate. It’s the most

As you know, this Friday is the first day of Cal Poly’s Open House. The parking lots will

Ever since you were in elementary school, The Man has kept you from having a good time. He

‘Scuse me if I seem a little off this week. I just shared a bowl of Afgani Indica with this talking deer I just met. He’s crazy, man.

Lee: No. We want excitement, not a Bonds indictment. They call baseball our national pastime. Yeah, if by “pastime” you mean “something we never do anymore.” Look, I’m a huge baseball fan, but let’s be honest: when was the last time you watched a baseball game? Probably not since October.