President Baker: Please return our Pimp Goblet

Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Editor's note: 'Two Classy Gents' is a humor column that runs every Friday. Dear President Baker, It’s been a full year since we’ve last spoken. We text messaged you a number of times since…

We felt awkward at Campus Crusade

Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Editor's note: "Two Classy Gents" is a humor column that runs every Friday in the Mustang Daily. The other day, the Two Classy Gents were sauntering around campus when a horde of freshman girls…

Hometown Buffet: Why are you so good?

Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke We know how this looks, faithful Mustang Daily reader. You think the Two Classy Gents sold out. And while it is true that this column is now sponsored by Hometown Buffet, please understand we…

Rumor Patrol: Was that Pete Sampras on campus?

Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Editor's note: Two Class Gents is a humor column that runs every Friday. You know when you think you see some kid you knew from high school, but it turns out to be some ugly…

Musty the Mustang: An expose

Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke One of the most enigmatic characters in Cal Poly lore is half wiry teenage body, half artificial horse head. You’ve probably seen him around campus flipping burgers with the other ag majors during their…

We're calling you out, UFC champion

Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke “Two Classy Gents” is a humor column. Chuck-chuck-bo-buck, fanana-fanna-fo. . .we all know how this little children’s ditty ends. As you may or may not know, faithful Mustang Daily reader, the current Ultimate Fighting…

A Healthy 2006

Dan Watson It’s that time of year again, New Year’s resolution time! Instead of making the same resolution to get healthier and then forgetting it by Valentine’s Day candy time, why not try it a different way? Try some of…