I don’t hate musicals; I actually love them. I only hate that, until recently, I was embarrassed to come out to you about it. Indeed, I own the soundtracks to several now-“uncool” musicals and belt their lyrics in my car, only to surreptitiously pretend to be emphatically singing along to Amy Winehouse or Chris Brown.

Congratulations, Diablo Cody, for winning one (an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay) for all the pseudonym-bearing people of the world. Of course, the real question is: Would “Juno” have been picked up if it were by Brook Busey-Hunt? Oh, and congratulations for making me second-guess the name I have so n„ively accepted for the last 21 years of my life.

It’s Valentine’s Day. There, I said it. Quota met for the day. I’m not going to waste my precious column space telling you whether I love or loathe the candy-coated, overpriced, sometimes disappointing holiday. Instead, I give you the first ever “Love It” short list.

I have a confession to make: I created an eHarmony profile. Let me explain. I did it as a social experiment. I did it for you. I also did it in response to Taylor Moore’s column this week about online dating. It sounded safe. Just go on, take the test and find out if there is anyone out there who is my “match.

It’s great to see that Cal Poly is finally getting with the times. Really, the fact that I can eat on campus without forcing freshmen to let me use their Plu$ dollars is really very exciting. But no matter how big the Rec Center is, or how many Starbucks kiosks pop up on campus, it is still impossible for anyone to find a parking spot.

After reading all 60 responses to James Koman’s “Why I Hate White People” column from a while back (why are people still talking about it?), it occurred to me that I might be in danger of the very same scrutiny if I proceed to print my column as planned. This week, I do feel an acute loathing for something, and I would hate to be admonished for expressing my opinion.

For those of you who happen to carry a copy of my column on your person at all times (I know I do – it makes it easier to quote myself), and happen to see me on campus, feel free to shove it down my throat. Yes, this week I will be eating my words.

If you read last week’s column (hi, Mom!), you might remember my assertion that any show with a “VH1” logo on the bottom right corner is complete trash and ought to be deleted from every TiVo in America.

A whole new year, a totally loathsome column.

Like most of you, I have a love/hate relationship with pop culture. (Yes, the pop culture columnist sometimes hates pop culture – no one’s perfect). When it comes to the films we watch, the music we listen to and the general trends we follow, it’s pretty easy to polarize the things we love and the things we just don’t.