A lovely baby bump…

Despite what the tabloids may want us to believe with their excessive pictures, a baby bump is not the newest back-to-school accessory this fall season. Although recently worn by Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Jamie Lynn Spears and, yes, even the lovable Juno, early pregnancy may not be all that it’s cracked up to be. Sure, you get to drink as many blue slushies as you want and you can blame hormones for everything from weird cravings to instantaneous feelings or even uncontrolled emotions, but there are negative consequences as well. As a college student already struggling to balance school, work, and the cost of college, let alone groceries, unwanted pregnancy could have a negative effect on your college experience, especially when you are not ready to take on that type of responsibility.

When it comes down to it, if you’d rather avoid those extra freshmen 15, an easy option is available to you: it’s called a condom. Use one. Make your partner use one. Whoever wants to be the wearer is more than welcome: girl or guy.

Male and female condoms are both up to 98 percent effective at preventing pregnancy, according to the Cal Poly Health Center and Planned Parenthood. This, however, does not take into account room for error. When condoms are not used absolutely correctly, the effectiveness of the condom will lower to 85 percent, assuming the mistakes don’t cause the condom to tear. So before we get the school year started, let’s get the condom crash course out of the way:

First and foremost, check the expiration date, because following all the directions won’t matter if the condom is past its due date. It’s also important to know that, when it comes to condoms, two is not better than one. Doubling up with a male and female condom will not increase the effectiveness; it will actually lower it. With more than one layer of latex involved, the probability of tearing becomes more likely. So stick to one, whatever brand works best for you and your partner.

You should also check the condom for holes before even opening the package by gently squeezing the center of the packet to check for air bubbles. If there’s no air bubble, then there shouldn’t be any sex with that condom; more than likely there is already a hole in the condom because there is a hole in the package.

Although difficult to think about in the heat of the moment, make sure that you don’t use your teeth or your nails, but the pads of your fingers when opening the condom. Also, leave a reservoir tip to catch the ejaculate and make sure there are no air bubbles when rolling on the condom.

Though these may seem like simple, nagging rules, they are important to remember if you want to enjoy sex and not be worrying about any aftereffects mid-thrust. Perhaps rapper Lil’ Wayne said it best: “Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex, cuz you don’t want that late text, that ‘I think I’m late’ text.”

If you do find yourself in that unwanted situation of unplanned pregnancy, there are things you can do. First, talk to someone. Students in the P.U.L.S.E. Peer Health center are open to confidential discussions, as is the counseling center and countless other agencies in San Luis Obispo. Explore your options to find the decision that’s best for you.

But to avoid an unanticipated consequence, come to the Peer Health center for some free condoms, or pick up a box at the store. It’s better to be prepared and be able to run to your sock drawer for some protection, than tell your beautiful date that the moment has to be delayed while you run to your neighbor’s room to borrow one.

You can be frisky without being risky, so keep it classy Cal Poly.

Melissa Norman is the Mustang Daily’s new sex and relationship columnist. “Between the Sheets” will be appearing in this section every Wednesday. Norman is a psychology senior and a member of Cal Poly’s Educational Resources on Sexuality (E.R.O.S.) team. Write in to her with your questions about sex, relationships and dating at betweenthesheets@gmail.com.