Album incites cringes

The following article is an album review, commentary piece.

Needless to say, no one is quite ready for me to spew out of the mouth. However, I can’t rest until I express what I have felt since listening to Belle & Sebastian’s “If You’re Feeling Sinister” for the first time.

Yes, people may expect this to be a fabulous album from a fabulous indie pop band – but is this the truth? Well, the tirade begins as I now spew.

First of all, the lead singer’s voice: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Never again – never again in life. I can’t take it. It screams falsetto spit bubbles of maidenly toned tweet POP into my ears causing me to feverishly grind my teeth, cage my fingernails inside my hands as if powdery chalkboards are beckoning rusty nails and clinch pillows and other sources of nearby bedding.

I can’t even get to the music. This is sad, yes. This hopefully will change, and to be quite blunt, I don’t know why I am so bothered by this singing. I love Sigur Ros (a band that everyone I attempt to try and turn onto, runs away like a heartland American homophobe). I love pretty much any type of experimental, feminine, masquerade signing known to man. It doesn’t matter to me; good is good.

Belle & Sebastian is simply the stuff a bastion (granted a weak one) of pocket lint from various cashmere pockets would construct. It’s as flinty as an Icelandic breeze in a gay bar. It is a touch of what is tangible; I can’t cling; I can’t grasp; I am tortured.

This explanation, although my biased opinion of a voice that makes me shout and punch my fist through glass, lends some explanation of a band that is not all they are cracked up to be.

While they make good, sometimes great, efforts at nice indie pop music, they seem uninteresting enough to not force myself to strive past the fingernail biting episode of dealing with the guys’ voice.

If you desire wonderful Scottish indie pop, check out a band by the name Camera Obscura who dwells unjustly in the shadow of Belle & Sebastian, while appearing better than them in every conceivable way, sans record sales and fan base.