Ryan Chartrand
It’s amazing to think that there are a whopping 10 “The Pink Panther” films. It’s even more amazing to think that Steve Martin thought “Cheaper by the Dozen 2” was a good idea. With his career dwindling down and his hair still making his age as ambiguous as ever, Martin decided to take on the role of Inspector Jacques Clouseau, the most moronic and ridiculous detective in all of France, in “Pink Panther” (the “The” is gone much like the brilliant comedy). The ceremonial number 10 in the series is filled with repeated brainless and mediocre humor, a murder case that a high school student could have written and only a few worthy laugh-out-loud moments. One more nail in the coffin of Martin’s career and one more step towards “Cheaper by the Dozen 3.”
For those who know nothing about “The Pink Panther” aside from the fact that it has a catchy theme song, Inspector Clouseau is easily the worst detective known to man even though he, like all comical detectives in Hollywood, always ends up solving his cases. Each case revolves around the theft of a world renowned diamond called “The Pink Panther.” Clouseau is hired this time around to solve a murder case involving a soccer player who just so happens to own the one and only “Pink Panther,” which naturally disappears after his death. Add Beyonce Knowles and her on-screen radiance, viagra jokes and the brilliant director known for “Cheaper by the Dozen,” and you have a pop culture filled millennium version of a once brilliant comedy. The end result of Clouseau’s case is unfortunately no more than a sigh of mediocrity covered in childish humor.
Martin does deserve some praise for his performance as Clouseau, mastering the accent and the ability to be oblivious to stupidity. After all, when was the last time Martin was given the chance to play such a ridiculous role and be given the opportunity to be inventive again? Steve Martin fans will easily recognize this refreshment of creativity that he should have lost in his last slew of films. Martin co-wrote the screenplay, however, and it’s surprising to see how terribly written some of the scenes are. The theater would fall deathly silent when it was obvious Martin was trying to make a joke. Thankfully, American moviegoers proved themselves brilliant once again by falling out of their seats whenever a person was accidentally injured on screen. Yes, Martin plays dumb with the crowd and instead of only keeping Clouseau as the true idiot, he spreads it throughout poorly written “comical” scenes that usually don’t work.
It’s also nice to see Kevin Kline, who hasn’t had a job since “De-Lovely,” is truly pushing the envelope in “Pink Panther” with more depressing acting. Beyonce, who seems to be obsessed with being in detective films, sings and looks sexy. Any surprises yet? The film includes a dozen different takes on the famous “Pink Panther” theme song. Ah, I suppose that’s not very surprising either.
For those who fell in love with the Peter Sellers version of Inspector Clouseau, Martin’s performance in the latest installment is no more than a childish imitation at times. Sure, Martin can never be Sellers and Sellers certainly can’t ever be Martin. But both actors bring different elements to the ridiculous hysterical character known as Clouseau and both have the ability to make you laugh a little whether you want to or not. In the end, however, determining if Martin plays a better Clouseau than Sellers is like future critics deciding if Frankie Muniz plays a better Austin Powers than Mike Myers (hopefully this never happens in the first place); there’s just no point to it. What really matters is the comedy and Martin delivers it on a minimally pleasing scale. Whether it’s the verbal hilarity (“I vwould laike tou booy a dhamburgar”) or the ridiculously idiotic statements, moviegoers dying to see Clouseau for over a decade are sure to be pleased in some form or another. For those who protest remakes of classic films or find PG comedy incapable of turning that frown upside down, “Pink Panther” will sound less like a “meow” and more like a “yawn” this time around.