In a previous show, Alton Brown brought out an old friend: a cow he used on “Good Eats” years ago. Using this cow’s chocolate milk, he created Jet Cream, a carbonated ice cream.
Kayla Missman
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Food Network personality Alton Brown performed a literal culinary explosion in front of a sold-out audience at the Christopher Cohan Performing Arts Center this past Saturday as part of his Edible Inevitable Tour.
He didn’t waste time starting the show as he walked onto the stage, picked up his guitar and began playing. In the opening song, “The Meat Goes On,” Brown translated his love for meat into lyrics — covering everything from his affection for bacon to jokes about shooting and cooking squirrels in his backyard.
Brown also gave his well-known lecture, “10 Things I’m Pretty Sure I’m Sure About Food,” and said this would be the last year it would be featured during his tour.
The chef also took to music this past Saturday night, as one of his rules — to never eat shrimp cocktail from an airport — warranted a musical number. A drummer and guitarist joined Brown on stage; all three donned cowboy hats to match the theme of “Airport Shrimp Cocktail.” Brown’s country twang filled the room as he sang about an unfortunate airplane experience after eating bad shrimp.
Then, in true Alton Brown fashion, he introduced Jet Cream, a science experiment with food. His goal: to create ice cream in five minutes using a machine made out of water coolers taped together and a fire extinguisher.
When Brown asked for a volunteer, half of the audience screamed and raised their hands, even those in the upper decks. Front-row Santa Barbara City College student Shane McKinney was chosen, simply because he was wearing a bow tie.
“It was a dream come true,” McKinney said. “I’ve watched every single episode of ‘Good Eats’ four times, give or take. I really like Alton Brown; he’s a cool cat.”
The front two rows, now sporting ponchos, were in the Jet Cream “wet zone.”
The process for Jet Cream was simple: chocolate milk under pressure was at one end, and a carbon dioxide fire extinguisher was at the other. Handles on both ends had to be squeezed for exactly 10 seconds, while freezing chocolate milk sprayed out of holes on the top of the water coolers — to avoid explosions, Brown said.
When the Jet Cream finished, Brown scooped the concoction onto an ice cream cone, covered it with sprinkles and told McKinney to lick it. For McKinney, the most interesting part was having Brown in his ear while he was eating.
“It was the most delicious ice cream I’ve had in a long time,” McKinney said. “It was bubbly. It was crackling on my tongue; it was so cool. It was a mix between Pop Rocks and ice cream, and a little bit of diet soda.”
After a short intermission, Brown opened up the second half of the show with another song — this time, it was metal. He sang of his childhood woes: wanting an Easy Bake oven, but being told they were for girls.
“This boy was meant to bake / I was born that way,” he sang.
For Rachel Maseda, a Bakersfield resident who came to San Luis Obispo to see the show, it was an emotional experience.
“I’m shaking; I was crying in a few spots,” she said. “When he did that Easy Bake song, I was crying through the whole thing. I was so happy.”
As the song progressed, a 1964 model of the Easy Bake oven descended onto the stage, only to later be replaced by Brown’s industrial-sized Mega Bake. Brown said the audience should “drop dead in awe” of the Mega Bake, a 54,000 watt oven. When the lights were shut off, the glow of the Mega Bake illuminated the entire room.
Again, he performed an experiment. This time, his goal was to bake two pizzas in three and a half minutes. He called another volunteer to the stage and they made the pies, which were placed into the Mega Bake. The volunteer cranked the device with a ship’s wheel until the time was up.
Sure enough, the pizzas were perfectly crisp and golden in Brown’s Mega Bake. Even though the audience couldn’t taste it, the mouth-watering smell of freshly-baked dough wafted from the stage and filled the room.
Brown closed the night with another song, “Pork Chop Blues,” dedicated to any man who had choked down his mother-in-law’s dry, flavorless meat in the name of love. During the song, the stage lights bounced off the ceiling and created a kaleidoscope of color on the audience.
The night wrapped up as Brown performed one final tune, “Cooking Lesson Lullaby, Part One,” which he originally wrote for his daughter to prove cooking was simple. As Brown sat on a stool, alone in the center of the stage, he asked the audience to sing along to the satirical lyrics.
“Cooking is quite simple / if you can understand / a few rules you can count on 12 hands,” he sang.
Nipomo resident Tenli Vanrozeboom most enjoyed Brown’s musical talents, which she wasn’t aware of before the show.
“But I’ve always thought he was kind of quirky and funny,” she said. “I thought it was very good, I would definitely go see him again.”