I would like to use my column this week as a Public Safety Announcement. Most weeks I spill my guts about what’s bothering me, or I endlessly complain about what you are doing wrong, but this week I am stepping down from my soapbox. This week we are all affected. So, my PSA to all of us is as follows:
“Do you think everyday about sounding like an intelligible functioning member of society? Abbreviation is an epidemic pervasive in youth culture. It consists of the shortening of sever words or phrases, not in jest but out of a need for effortlessness. It can be identified within the 12-21 age group and effects males and females (though generally is more common among females). A first sign can be the use of “O-M-G” in a mocking tone. This condition can be treated if spotted early on. If you or a loved one is plagued with Abbreviation, contact your doctor as soon as possible.”
I can think back to the first time I heard someone abbreviate. I thought they sounded ridiculous; I thought to myself, “Who says B-T-W?” and immediately began ridiculing them. Of course, as anyone who knows me and as most of you may guess, today I probably use abbreviations more than the majority of you. Is it a joke? Yes, a little bit. But is it more likely that I have gotten used to speaking like this? Definitely. Please, help me stop.
Think to yourself, how many conversations you have had or just overheard in the last week that have used at least one silly abbreviation? I mean, I have heard, and occasionally say, abbrev instead of abbreviation. Is this where spoken language is heading? Are we so lazy that we can’t even summon enough energy to use full words?
Abbreviations, once popular only among prepubescent teens, have somehow saturated television and advertising. I know that we can all remember the AT&T commercial that spouted, “IDK my BFF Jill.” I wonder to myself, how is it that all of us, young and old, understand the above sentence?
Is it only a matter of months or years before our president addresses the public by saying, “Sup? IDK how we are going to fix the crisis in the Middle East, but OMDB (over my dead body) will this affect any of us. Moving on to the economy, repairing it will be NBD (no big deal). I mean OMG we are on this.”
Would you take Obama seriously?
Not convinced? OK let’s try a little word play. Which sounds best to you?
A) I hope you have a good night, and by the way you are grounded until further notice. Love, Mom
B) I hope you HAGN, and BTW you are grounded UFN. ;hearts&, mom
The problem with speaking like sentence (b) is that when it starts to trickle down into our real vernacular we don’t even sound as smart as rocks. I have no problem asking a friend if they want to get fro-yo later, but I worry that I could be in an interview and answer a “What if this happened” question with “Oh, don’t worry, that’s NBD.”
No one with a speck of intelligence would hire me, and rightfully so. I am in no way suggesting that we start speaking in a Shakespearean tongue, but I am personally considering carrying around a type of curse jar so that every time I blurt out “FML” or “BFD” or, god forbid, abbreviate the word abbreviate, “that’s a quarter.”
Rachel Newman is an English junior. “That’s What She Said” takes a fresh and lighthearted look at issues at Cal Poly and in San Luis Obispo.