Julianne Roth is a journalism senior and Mustang Daily sex columnist.
The iconic sex educator Betty Dodson once said, “Orgasms have been very important to my life. I’ve always really depended on them. In a bad mood? Jerk off. Confused? Masturbate.”
In order to get the creative juices surging up from my loins to my brains, I also had to manually come before I wrote this column. Perhaps you could say Betty and I are cut from the same titillating cloth — we even share the same birthday.
When I talk about my vagina, my clitoris or any other part of my lady anatomy, it’s like I would talk about my arms or feet — my genitalia are just another part of my body. Women and men ought to have a competent grasp of how their bodies properly function.
I’ll admit that since I was a child, I’ve stood in front of the mirror stark naked and checked out the intricate nooks and crannies of my body for minutes on end. My boyfriend makes fun of me now for doing this before we take a shower, but I just can’t help it.
Staring at our vaginas is no different from staring at our tummies and thighs. So, ladies — I urge you, take a hand mirror and explore your vulva (the outside folds of the vagina). I promise, it usually won’t bite.
Get to know your unique set of features and your vagina. How can you let anyone explore your delicate center before you do?
Some women want to masturbate, but don’t know where or how to begin. Others have no problem with the act, but are hung-up on negative self-judgments that ultimately cause harsh waves of cognitive dissonance.
Masturbation is completely natural and carries most of the benefits consensual, safe sex does (except for the obvious ones that include a partner). Plus, you can jerk and jerk all day with absolutely zero possibility of pregnancy and disease transmission — unless you didn’t wash your hands.
However, studies show women in relationships and marriage actually masturbate more. According to WebMD, women who masturbate engage in more sexual activity with their partners as well. I’m definitely one of those people.
Masturbation also contributes to sexual and overall confidence. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and how she likes it.
I geared this column toward women specifically, because I have more than a few close friends who are befuddled by their vaginas and dubious about their self-pleasuring skills.
I’ll admit I was a late bloomer.
At the age of 16, I started “flicking the bean,” compared to the lucky women who began jerking off before they could speak coherent sentences.
At the age of 18, my friend Emily and I visited our nearest adult store and bought dildos for each other’s birthdays; we’re both Virgos, oh the irony.
Don’t get me wrong — I love my little orange vibrating clitoral magician; however, err on the side of caution with dildos.
Besides a few impeccably stunning exceptions, I’m a heterosexual female, so I try not to masturbate solely with an object my partner could never mimic with his penis, mouth or hands.
However, incorporating toys into the bedroom is an entirely different adventure of its own. Your partner can strategically rub the vibrator on your clitoris, while going in and out of your vagina with fingers.
Also, watching your partner touch themselves erotically can be visually and physically exciting, maybe because it’s hot that they know what they like.
If you’re going to use a vibrator on your clitoris, try to stimulate your G-spot simultaneously. From my extensive anthropological research, (AKA prodding into all of my close and not-so-close friends’ sex lives), I’ve found that the G-spot is often overlooked in female masturbation.
The G-spot is on the inner wall of the vagina, right underneath the clitoris, about two to three inches in. To find your G-spot, turn your palm up, slide however many fingers you’re comfortable with inside and gently curve them upward.
Based on my experience, it is easy to find her after you’ve already orgasmed. Once inside yourself, stroke up and down, until you come across a portion of your vaginal wall that is a bit rougher. Bingo.
Some say rubbing your G-spot in tandem with your clitoris can heighten pleasure, but either orgasm on its own is firework-worthy.
If you’re stalled before you even start, try relaxing in the shower or bathtub. As my close friend of six years Corina said, “ … three very important words: removable shower head.”
If you’re like me, you’re not as lucky as Corina, so you may have to rely on your hands. Run your fingers softly up and down your stomach and thighs. Stroke your breasts and the sweet outer edges of your labia.
Many women can reach an orgasm by breast stimulation alone. I find it’s easier for women to become vaginally ready once they’re mentally tranquil.
And one last thing: Ladies don’t have a refractory period. That’s why I was able to have nine orgasms in a row the other day.
Can you top that?
