Using B.S. to get a career

Since our first day of kindergarten, people have asked us what we intended to do as a career. The further we advanced in our education, the more people wanted to know. Unfortunately, the closer we get to finishing school, the less certain many of us are when it comes to what we want to do for the rest of our lives. Most of us1 have ruled out becoming a princess or a superhero, but we still can’t commit to any single career.

Even once we have chosen a major, we still face the “What are you going to do with that?” question. Now, I know people often ask in an effort to seem friendly and make conversation, but sometimes it seems more like an interrogation. For example, when people inquire about my future career, I tell them I plan on teaching. Then they ask, “What?” and I respond with “elementary school.” But then they need to know “What grade?” And it is like they are playing a game; one where they keep asking questions about our career plans until they victoriously stump us, leaving us confused and worried about the huge decision that weighs on our shoulders.

It is time to fight back. So, I have compiled a list of appropriate answers that will work for everyone from those majoring in environmental management and protection to art history.

1. Teach English overseas.2

2. Join a band.3

3. Become a black jack dealer in

Las Vegas.

4. Go on a VH1 reality TV show to

become a celebrity.

5. Help the parents get their money’s worth

from both their couch and flat-screen TV.

6. Roam the streets of the Central Coast and

recycle cans.

7. Save the whales/ rainforest/ American

economy.

8. Become a whale hunter/ lumberjack/ politician.

9. If I told you, I would have to kill you.

10. How the hell should I know? I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Like I said before, many of the people questioning our career plans have the best intentions, and I know we should respond with simple pleasantries. But, from now on, I am using response number 10.

Marci Palla is a public policy graduate student and a Mustang Daily humor columnist. “Marci’s Word of the Week” explores some of the more important vernacular of college life, one word at a time.