Disclaimer: You have to cut me some slack. The holidays are coming; Thanksgiving is in a week, I’ve sent in my Christmas list to my grandparents and we’re now only a month and a half away from 2009. I was feeling sentimental. Don’t be scared though, we’ll return to your regular, sexually-charged excitement for my final column during dead week.
Let’s face it: however much we might try to pretend we are, men and women are not chopped off the same block. We all have goals, dreams, fantasies, and let’s be realistic. sexual needs. But all of these things revolve around the one thing, the thing is outwardly viewed differently, but that we are taught is the key to the world’s happiness.
There are so many great things that begin with the letter “L.” Lucky charms, laid, lemonade, linebacker, lewd jokes. but we all know what the more important of these L-words are. Laundry. clean of course. OK, not really. What I’m talking about, of course, is Love. Deeply amazing, every song reminds you of them, can’t get them out of your head, live for their smile, embrace their bad jokes type of love.
Nowadays, love seems to be something almost out of reach. In a generation that has chosen to embrace hooking up and one-night stands, dating and relationships sometimes seem non-existent. Furthermore, living in the United States with the highest divorce rate in the nation’s history, some people’s only true example of love is what we see in songs, movies and the few-and-far-between successful relationships of our relatives.
What’s crazy for me is to realize that at my age, my parents were already engaged and my grandparents were already married with a kid on the way. Though it might be a commentary on the increased amount of education required to get the job of our dreams, I would like to add that I think it is also because we’ve lost sight of what’s most important.
Now if you’ll recall, I made the oh-so-bold statement that men and women are different. Not really going out on a limb there. Oscar Wilde once said, “Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.” Girls want to be held, boys want to hold. Girls like mushy, sappy movies, and boys like there bombing, shooting action flicks and Will Ferrell jokes. Girls have tea parties and boys have burping contests.
According to Chris Rock’s stand-up, “Women want everything.” But, what he fails to mention in his discussion of women’s material needs is that both men and women want everything, but that it doesn’t necessarily refer to material things. Maybe the everything we want isn’t a something, but a someone. No one wants to be alone. Everyone wants someone to talk to, to spend time with, to cuddle with. Though all these job requirements can be fulfilled by a teddy bear, or even an FWB (friend-with-benefits, for those of you that don’t understand acronyms), a partner that you can grow with and fall in love with is the best option.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that long-term commitment is as easy as getting a free drink at the bars. And sometimes the whole non-commitment thing works. at least for a little while. But where we come together is in our desire to find someone to share our life with. Whether or not we are meant to grow old together with matching rocking chairs or if it lasts for only a short time, we have to realize that we are allowed to fall in love with each other. We’re in our early twenties, and while being single and loving it seems to be our anthem, I think we’re just scared. Being involved in something where we become vulnerable is intimidating.
It’s time to stand up, but not necessarily grow up. I wish you luck in finding that someone who complements you. That person who you can sit cuddled up next to on the couch watching re-runs of your favorite television show for the millionth time; that person that will put up with your sappy girly movies just because you enjoy them; that person who makes you smile on days when you want to do anything but, but also lets you cry when you need to; that person who understands you completely but lets you pretend to still be mysterious; that person who touches you in a way that you never imagined possible – that person who just fits.
I’m not saying that you are going to find this guy or girl on your first try out the door, but don’t get discouraged. Love is out there for everyone when they choose to accept it and other times when they aren’t even looking. When you find that special someone, embrace and appreciate them. And don’t forget that even with spontaneous dancing in the rain or nights out to dinner or great conversations, physical intimacy is still important. Love each other, love their body and love their soul. And feel free to give me some of the credit if it works out. Stay safe, and keep the protection solely for sex and not for your heart.
Melissa Norman is a psychology senior and Mustang Daily sex columnist. You can contact her at cpbetweenthesheets@gmail.com.