Ryan ChartrandWith the recent spell of wonderful weather and the never-ending parade of exams, it is understandable if you have lost touch with the current state of affairs in the wide world of sports. No worries, SLO Pitch is here to catch you up on your current events, sports style.
(Disclaimer: If you have absolutely no interest in sports and find yourself accidentally reading this article but do have an interest in the scandalous lifestyles of the rich and famous – goodbye, journalism credibility – feel free to skip to the end for a sure-fire train wreck in the making.)
If you happened to channel surf past the family of ESPN networks this weekend, you undoubtedly are aware the NFL draft took place. Unless your obsession for football borders near unhealthy like mine, you paid it passing notice at most, so let’s take a look at how regional teams fared.
ESPN’s Mel Kiper Jr. called the San Francisco 49ers’ picks of North Carolina defensive lineman Kentwan Balmer and USC guard Chilo Rachal “not sexy,” which doesn’t fully describe the fans’ feelings.
I knew Al Davis loved speed but I was not aware that Raider Nation would be sending a 4×100 team to the Olympics this summer. I am impressed by Davis’ efforts, though. The offseason additions of Darren McFadden, DeAngelo Hall and a couple of the other picks from the second day of the draft might be able to challenge for a medal in Beijing.
As for San Diego, well, who cares what the Chargers did? Their roster is stacked. In all seriousness, though, their first two picks, cornerback Antoine Cason and running back Jacob Hester, have the look of solid contributors.
Judging a draft the day after is guesswork at best and always dangerous but I want it in print that Dallas Cowboys owner and Arkansas alumnus Jerry Jones will regret taking a Razorback in running back Felix Jones when Illinois’ Rashard Mendenhall was still on the board in the first round.
While taking this much interest in predicting the forecast of sporting allegiances is probably not healthy, the look I get from the average Joe or Jane when I break down the merits of why the 49ers should have selected Kentucky quarterback Andre’ Woodson in the sixth round instead of Virginia Tech wide receiver Josh Morgan is unsettling nonetheless.
The look is a mixture of confusion and pity, a hybrid expression I have copyrighted as the Avery Bochy or the Bruce Johnson – I haven’t decided yet. It shows emotions Dallas Mavericks head coach Avery Johnson and San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy must be feeling toward two of their respective players right about now.
Josh Howard, a borderline all-star for the Mavericks, went on Michael Irvin’s (appropriately enough) radio show to clarify to the public that a newspaper article claiming he smokes marijuana is indeed true, and that he doesn’t think tokin’ up in the offseason is that big of a deal.
While I agree with his stance and applaud his honesty, it couldn’t have come at a worse time for the Mavericks, who lost later that night to the New Orleans Hornets and have since been eliminated.
Bochy, on the other hand, had to demote $126-million man Barry Zito to the bullpen after he gave up eight runs Sunday to become the third pitcher in the history of baseball to go 0-6 in the month of April.
The Giants now have the most expensive reliever in the major leagues, out-earning the likes of Mariano Rivera by $3 million. This can officially be called the worst free-agent signing in professional sports history. Of course, then there’s the L.A. Dodgers and Andruw Jones, aka the BIG blue blunder.
Back to the subject of facial expressions – did anyone see the look of despair on Mark Cuban’s face Sunday night when Jason Kidd was ejected for a flagrant foul? Priceless.
In the rest of the NBA playoffs, the L.A. Lakers easily dispatched the Denver Nuggets in a sweep. The Phoenix Suns tried to stave off their critics and prove the Shaq trade was not a complete disaster, but fell to the San Antonio Spurs 4-1. It also looks like Tracy McGrady will fail to get out of the first round for the seventh-straight year unless he can carry his team back from a 3-1 series deficit at the hands of the Utah Jazz.
The Eastern Conference is defying expectations. The series everyone expected to be close are nearly over and the ones people thought would be cake walks are highly competitive.
Orlando is waiting for its second-round opponent after eliminating the Toronto Raptors on Monday.
The Cleveland Cavaliers are up 3-2 on the Washington Wizards and in case anyone is wondering, LeBron James is not “overrated,” as Wizards fans have continually chanted throughout the series.
In the other two series, the Boston Celtics and Detroit Pistons, both prohibitive favorites, were squared up 2-2 with two young upstart teams in the Atlanta Hawks and Philadelphia 76ers.
If either team could go on to win a series, it would be even more shocking than Golden State’s thrilling upset of Dallas last year.
It is way too early in the season for me to bore you with the ins and outs from the first month of baseball, evident by the fact that the national media is still subjecting us to coverage of Roger Clemens.
In a soap opera-esque turn, the New York Daily News reported Clemens had an affair with country singer Mindy McCready, whom he reportedly met while pitching for the Toronto Blue Jays in 1991 when he was 28 and the singer was 15.
After all, what would a sports current events article be without a little juicy gossip?
Kory Harbeck is a journalism senior and a Mustang Daily sports columnist.