Political, religious satire at its finest

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been . well, let’s just call it “a long time” since my last confession, but I really need to get this off my chest: I laughed at a joke about the Pope farting. I laughed hard, and now I’m probably going to hell. But at least I won’t be alone.

Saturday’s opening of “POPE II: A Holy, Political, Musical Cabaret” was so packed with laughs at the expense of the Catholic Church and the American political machine that the majority of the audience will probably join me in that lake of fire in the near future.

Straddling the line between the highest of highbrow and the lowest of lowbrow humor, the unique musical satire starts out full-speed and doesn’t let up until the curtain call. In fact, the opening line, “Dick Cheney is dead,” spoken by an unseen narrator, had the audience cheering before a single actor set foot on the stage.

In the show, Dubya, played by writer and director Gale McNeeley, is left to the wolves when Cheney dies during their last year in the White House. He fears the repercussions of the sinful deeds committed during his presidency and is in desperate need of a safe haven.

After the ghosts of politics past, present and future visit him, Dubya has an epiphany (which he pronounces “apostrophe”) and comes to the realization that the only way he stands a chance is by seeking out the power of the Pope (pronounced “Popie”).

The sitting Pope, Papa Razi, is happy to help and dubs Dubya Cardinal Wunderbar, absolving his sins. Not long after, Papa Razi is kidnapped and locked away in a secret prison in Eastern Europe, leaving the position of Pope open for the right puppet.

Dubya’s unopposed run doesn’t last very long. A group of rebellious nuns come to the realization that “The Bible doesn’t say you need a penis to be the Pope,” and they nominate their own candidate, Sister Dominiqee-niqee-nique (she’s quite uniqee-niqee-nique), the world-

famous singing nun. Hilarity ensues.

McNeeley’s portrayal of the commander in chief ranges from bluntly idiotic to subtly sympathetic. He has Bush’s mannerisms down pat, and it is hard not to gag when he poses for the audience.

What is more interesting about the performance is McNeeley’s ability to make the audience almost feel bad for Dubya, who has just been a pawn his entire life. In one scene, he clutches and chews at his security blanket while an overbearing Barbara Bush demands that he read “My Pet Goat.” One can’t help but feel a little sorry for the guy; after all, as he so delicately put it himself, “That is one scary woman.”

The musical numbers are what really make “POPE II” shine. The small cast of four actors and scene-stealing accompanist Sister Betty, played by Betty Faas, perform parody after parody and switch genres and styles without ever missing a beat.

A few musical high notes include the Ghost of Cheney’s warning to Dubya “Chain, Chain, Chain,” performed by Joelyn Lutz; “Don’t Cry for Me All Good Women,” a deliciously satirical take on Hillary Clinton’s famous emotional outburst, performed by Christina Landeros, and a portrait of the presidential hopeful; Sister Dominique-niqee-nique’s somewhat controversial proposal for sex education called “The Sound of Hormones,” performed by Brie Leatham; and, of course, McNeeley’s “I Am the Great Decider.”

Aside from a few opening night flubs and a little obligatory liberal pandering via buzzwords like “socialized healthcare” and “impeachment,” the cast put on one hell of a show. There was singing, dancing and split-second costume changes, and in the end the kidnapped Pope even made an appearance to sanctify the audience and deem us all cardinals of the Catholic Church so we could vote for the new Pope.

One of the most enjoyable community theater experiences I can remember, “POPE II” is well worth the suggested donation ($10 for students, $15 for general public), and the cookies served at intermission were delicious, even though I couldn’t get them to transubstantiate.

The musical will play at the World Rhythm and Motion Center Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through April 20, when the cast will relocate to Santa Maria. Curtain is 8 p.m. with a 2 p.m. matinee on Sundays.