Lauren RabainoCall it devilishly deviant. A business plan you’re a wee bit envious you didn’t postulate yourself. Avant-garde, or just plain crass. Bottom line remains thus: Online blogger Perez Hilton has built a gilded empire trash-bagging celebrities. I might add that I use the word bagging here very lightly, as Perez Hilton, not to be confused with the equally pink, posh and trashy Paris Hilton . actually, just scrap that last “do not be confused” bit and let the brain think what it will. Snap, crackle, pop.
Perez Hilton, lightly put, rips a new one in the press. And the press – how can I say this without sounding overtly mental – laps it up like a dog consuming its own vomitus mass. A public slightly amused, completely enthralled yet also completely unaware as to the questionable content of the actual posted material, but then again, who’s checking, and who cares?
But who is this enigmatic character? Who is the seemingly disturbed man, a one Mario Armando Lavandeira who since has become the terribly ubiquitous Perez Hilton we’ve all loved to hate? Um, hi, does anyone care at this point? Talk about a big, huge, no we don’t.
I’ll just be the voice of reason when I remind the American public and my Cal Poly brothers and sisters that Lavandeira makes a living, and by living I mean primary income making fun of people and seeing them squirm in the little pathetic celebrity traps he sets. Hello, his one purpose in life is to make other people feel small. Maybe I miss the point of what real fulfillment, achievement and success are in life, partly because I was under the impression that devaluing others was not, or at least not on any socio-religious levels, nice.
But I’m not here to take the self-righteous, deprecatory high road because – let’s be serious – we all know this is America, and in America there are certain undeniable truths. For example, celebrities are absolutely ridiculous. They are, it’s true. We all see it spewed on Entertainment Television, we read all about them in People magazine. They are indeed basically whack-jobs. Now the question is, do we condemn one man for calling them all out on it, especially when there’s no one out there really doing it quite the Perez Hilton way?
I leave it to you, the affected reader, because ultimately, that’s where all things are left. You, the reader, will decide his fate. Can’t a man just say what he wants to say around here any more? Well, evidently he can and he is. Now I will say just this: If you don’t like pink, you’re out of luck, and fate’s decided for you. There, I said it. Lavandeira posts at PerezHilton.com. No mea culpas to be found.
Alexandra Bezdikian is a journalism senior with a knack for critiquing pop culture trends.