Lauren RabainoIt’s Halloween, ya’ll. Hallo Halloween, ya’ll! What are you gonna be? Halloween costume trends change year to year, and for the most part they are reflections of current pop culture. Well, it’s time for some changes.
Ladies, Halloween is definitely your time to shine. But check it, your costumes aren’t that surprising anymore. You just take something and then “slut it up” for the occasion. For example, you might choose to be not just a nurse but a sexy nurse. Or maybe you want to be the sexy version of Abraham Lincoln and emancipate yourself from non-revealing clothes and boring underwear. The fact is, you’re not dressing up as a sexy nurse or Baberaham Lincoln, you’re dressing up like a stripper on her way to a bachelor party, meaning you all have the same costume.
So what to do? How about leading us to the next level of costuming by making something wholly unsexy, sexy. For instance: the food pyramid. Did you have your recommended servings of sexy today? The costume could be a really short dress with the food pyramid enlarged and taped on it. Or try this: as a group of friends, pick a theme (reptiles and office supplies are two good ones) and fight over who gets to be what. Just imagine your whole crew rolling up to a party as sexy toiletries. You can’t tell me a toothbrush costume wouldn’t be sexy. And the girl who dresses up as toilet paper, she’s your best friend if the bathroom’s taken and you can’t wait. But really, here’s a good idea: a sexy version of Strawberry Shortcake. Pop culture from when we were kids always makes a good costume. Now let’s “slut up” that culture and really make it pop. Be careful, though; don’t take this idea too far, because no matter how you do it, My Little Pony will never be sexy.
And if I see a lady who isn’t showing off a ton of skin, I’ll give her a high five, and you should too, because she’s actually wearing a costume. Some of the things that pass as costumes these days are really just lingerie (I also condone giving anyone wearing lingerie a high five!).
For us guys, costuming is a little easier; we don’t have to try and be sexy. But don’t be that guy that shows up as a beer keg; we’ve seen it before and were disappointed the first time we realized that your tap didn’t dispense beer (not that we trust every random beer keg we see on the street enough to drink from it). Also, don’t be a pirate. “Pirates of the Caribbean” is over and swashbuckling costumes have been done to death. Instead, let’s lead a new trend and start being Vikings because, if for no other reason, they have really sweet beards and grunt a lot, which means it’s not that hard to stay in character when you’re drunk.
Another possible trend: inter-gender group costuming. Why not dress as a family from Oregon Trail? You can show up to the party asking for money because you lost your bison while fording the river to get there. Seriously, bringing back something most of us remember as kids is always a good thing.
And for those of you with babies, wow, you have a lot of options, most of which will scar the child for life. I did a search online and found some really disturbing costumes. Your infant can be a Tootsie Roll, peas in a pod, a marshmallow Peep (yes, the Easter candy), a slice of pizza with a chef’s hat, a hot dog (complete with squiggly mustard), Wonder Bread, an ice cream cone or a box of Junior Mints. Am I the only person who has a problem with this? Is it wrong to assume that babies should never be associated with food? Parents, lead us away from this nonsense and put your kid in a mini superhero costume or a wild animal costume – those are always cute and never embarrassing to the kid later in life.
That’s all the advice I can give. Keep it classy, wear something classic and let the TRENDASAURUS fight off the pirates.
Brian McMullen is a journalism senior and Mustang Daily columnist.