Ryan Chartrand
Dictionary.com (sorry, I couldn’t find my Webster’s) defines dictator as: “a person exercising absolute power, a ruler who has absolute, unrestricted control in a government without hereditary succession.”
Apparently NBA commissioner David Stern and NFL czar Roger Goodell figured they should fill the void left by guys like Milosevich and Hussein.
Alright, that may have been a bit dramatic. However, anyone who heard Stern’s tirade on Dan Patrick’s radio show last week will appreciate it.
Stern played the role of strict interpreter of NBA laws, while Patrick tried to talk some sense into the commish after the ridiculous suspensions in the Phoenix/San Antonio series. For those who didn’t see it, Suns star forwards Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw were suspended for leaving the bench – not throwing any punches – after teammate Steve Nash was hip checked by Spurs forward Robert Horry at a crucial point in the series.
Had the context not been provided by numerous ESPN promos, one would have thought they were listening to a closed session of the Supreme Court.
Patrick asked Stern if he could decide in the “spirit of the rule,” which is intended to keep full-blown brawls from occurring. Stern responded as if Patrick was being incredulous, and that such a decision would be downright duplicitous and put a stain on the NBA’s integrity. Stern went on to place the onus of the ruling on the owners, saying he just enforces the rules.
Exactly, Dave.
You could have saved the integrity of an otherwise great series by saying “no harm, no foul,” and avoiding suspending the Suns’ second- and third-best players for doing nothing other than reacting. Neither player (Stoudemire nor Diaw), or any player on the court for that matter, threw a punch.
And if we are sticking to the letter of the law, why wasn’t Spurs forward Tim Duncan suspended after he left the bench after a teammate fell on the court? He left the bench, didn’t he? I thought we were being absolute here. The explanation from NBA executive vice president Stu Jackson – it was determined that Stoudemire and Diaw’s intentions were malicious. Duncan, however, was reacting to an injured teammate. Really? Because it looked like Diaw and Stoudemire were reacting to an injured teammate as well. So there is room for interpretation.
It’s playoff basketball. Come on.
There are plenty of fouls that could be called in the 82nd game of the season that are “missed” in the playoffs. The intensity ratchets up. That’s why people watch.
People wonder why Major League Baseball’s ratings for the Yanks and Sox are trumping the NBA Playoffs. I can think of a couple of reasons.
First, if Big Dave wants to do what’s best for the NBA, maybe he should re-format the playoffs so the Spurs/Suns series actually had a chance to be the Western Conference Finals. Or maybe fixing the lottery system. Holy crap, since the advent of the rally monkey and its noisy little brother, the thunder stix, only the NBA Draft Lottery has victimized sports longer.
It’s meant to keep teams from tanking, but only to the fourth- or fifth-worst record in the league, after which you can sure up the No. 1 pick. Now that’s integrity.
Ask Celtic fans if they believe in the luck of the Irish, then try not to get punched in the eye.
It’s been a rough year for Stern. The ball (wow, another great move), the dress code, Spurs/Suns.
Is Stern concerned with changing any of the aforementioned thorns in the side of the NBA? Nope, he’s more concerned with the “intentions” of those coming off the bench. Sounds a bit power drunk to me.
In what legal system could you be suspended for your “intentions” as opposed to your actions?
Wait a minute…I can think of one. The NFL.
Listen carefully, this will probably be my last column. I will probably be thrown in a Siberian gulag or mental institute because No One Criticizes the NFL. Ah, the perks of working for a student newspaper.
I’m pretty sure the NFL will rule the world one day, if it doesn’t already. It’s either them or Starbucks – people have to have their fix, and I’m not a coffee drinker.
But before the mind control and political assassinations begin, allow me to take umbrage to Mr. Goodell’s recent rule changes.
Goodell’s decisions are far more understandable. The NBA is struggling and Stern continues to exert his control in ways that would make Goodell literally do whatever he wants. If you’ve ever seen “Braveheart,” he’s the king. Only I hope he doesn’t take anyone’s wife before the first night of marriage. That would be a bad PR move.
How can you suspend somebody for the whole year before they have been convicted of a crime? That’s just un-American.
“Making it rain,” now that’s American and Chris Henry? He just needs to go to AA, that’s all.
If Goodell really wants to help, he should buy a nightclub that only allows NFL players. No strippers, no groupies and the best part, no liquored up fans who think they can take a guy who outweighs them by a greyhound bus. It seems as if every negative piece of news involving the NFL has the word “club” attached to it.
I can see it now, Ray Lewis will be the manager, Tank Johnson can provide security, Henry can bartend (come on, that’s where he’s gonna be anyway). For the gamblers, there will be dog fights put on by Mike Vick and Clinton Portis in the basement.
Then again, maybe I’ve said too much already. I hope Goodell never reads this. I really want a cabinet post when the NFL takes over for the Bush Administration. That is if Goodell’s spies aren’t on to me already…maybe I do like coffee.