Ryan ChartrandIn his new movie: “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, “Borat Sagdiyev describes his first marriage in the following manner: “She was very good for first three years, then suddenly she started grow hair on her chest, her voice became very deep, and her. how you say, did not work well.” While hilarious, Borat’s account of disillusionment and regret is a view similarly shared by many American voters when it comes to our Republican-led Congress. As a result Democrats, like me, are feverishly anticipating a victory in tomorrow’s midterm elections. Yet, with such great expectations you can’t help but second guess the hype surrounding the Democrats, which is why I am here to reassure you that WE WILL WIN ON NOV. 7!
Democrats have every right to believe the pre-election hype. Since August, every poll, both national and locally, showed that this year will be bigger than 1994 was for the Republicans, who gained control of both houses of Congress that year. Furthermore, this weekend, 72 hours before the election, Newsweek released a poll finding only 28 percent of Americans are satisfied with the direction of the country, whereas 64 percent said they are not satisfied. In addition, a recent CBS News poll echoed these sentiments finding that Congress’ job approval is only 29 percent. A 29 percent approval for Congress!!! If we are sticking with the Borat movie analogies, those poll numbers are so nasty and grotesque they invoke images of Borat nude wrestling with his obese friend, Azamat, in their hotel room. Yet, as bad as 29 percent sounds and looks for Republicans, it all but cements victories for Democrats.
Besides the repulsive reviews of our current Congress, Democrats will also win big Tuesday because of the shocking news outside the political arena. The outside news that I am referring to is evangelical Pastor Ted Haggard, leader of roughly 30 million evangelical voters, admitting to buying meth from a gay prostitute. If that weren’t bad enough, the prostitute alleges that he and Haggard had a sexual relationship for about three years, but Haggard, who has since stepped down, denies the claim.
Nevertheless, this gay sex scandal arriving so soon after the Mark Foley scandal has huge political implications because it stuns millions of evangelical voters, who make up the heart of the Republican voting base. If that weren’t enough, many of these disenchanted evangelical voters live in crucial swing states such as Colorado, Ohio and Pennsylvania.
Ultimately, the rationale for all the poorly placed Borat jokes is to show that this election is now a laughing matter. The reason I can take the election so lightly is because every sign, from polls to outside headlines, indicates that that it’s over for Republicans. Some might think I am being na’ve and impetuous, but it just seems to feel right; Republicans have controlled Congress for 12 years and now Americans are willing to vote for a change. Now it is up to the Democrats to show their political worth and make some of their own Happy Tiiimes.
Patrick Molnar is a business sophomore and Mustang Daily political columnist.