You might ask yourself, what are the right reasons to support Arnold? Is it because of his savage nature, entrepreneurial sprit, skilled acting, or the fact that his constituents call him by first name? Though these are all great reasons, one undeniable truth applies specifically to students of the CSU system: reelect Arnold to his deserved post for no other reason than because he will sign your diploma. That’s right folks, provided that you graduate while Arnold governs, you will get his John Hancock right there on the bottom of your hard-earned shingle.
Call me immature. Call me an idiot. Heck, call me an outrage to the political process, but at least recognize the benefits. When interviewing for any job, even if your competition is vastly better qualified, you will have that ace up your sleeve, e.g., “Well sir, sure I don’t have much experience, and sure I never went to Harvard, but did Arnold Schwarzenegger sign the other guy’s diploma? I don’t think so. I’ll take an office with a window please. See you Monday.”
Surely your golden diploma and kick-ass-and-take-names attitude will give you the leg up, and the increased salary and personal satisfaction will offset both the possible free year of tuition for the contest winner and the slightly greater amount of money you paid for your education. If that’s not enough, at least you can sell your diploma for $5 on e-Bay.
Don’t be a girly-man. Vote for Arnold. I know you want that autograph.
Jesse M. Dundon
Industrial technology senior